Putting Smiles on Public: One Stich at a Time

 

So here you, another picture of goodness,

This one made me smile. So I went back to look at the hanging note. 

Some people though...sooooo beautiful.  I will write more about this later. For now, I wanted to bring you all a smile too!!

Now That's a Happy Diwali!

I posted this only about 2 weeks ago.  But here I am repeating this story. I have interacted with F twice since this incident.  Today I told him I wrote about him.  I wanted to take his picture, since he was wearing a cute Santa band on his head. He wrinkled his nose that he did not mind me using his name or the story, but did not like his pictures taken. That's quite ok.  

It still made my day.  I wanted him to know how much his kindness had helped me.

So, here is the story again....about How Good the People Can be!

I have been meaning to write that story, that I promised you all.  So here comes.

It was Diwali.  Must have been 4th of November.   I had been busy all week and had no time to plan.  For all those who do not know Diwali is the biggest Hindu festival, comes on the darkest night of the year.  Its a new moon, so the skies are dark.  But according to the legend, both our dear Lord Ramachandra along with his wife and younger brother are returning home after an exile of 14 years.   They return on pushpak vimaan (look it up).  Pushpak Vimaan, is a flying object, open from all sides and works on 'will of the captain'.  You know, like thousands of years later, Obi Wan Kanobi tells Luke, 'let go Luke' and runs the flying vehicle on instinct?

Coming back to Diwali at my end....it was slightly sad for I had no time to cook  or clean, which is important for this occasion. I did boil some rice, hoping turn it into rice pudding, with raisins and cardamom and cashews and saffron....

Other than Prabhu Ram, we also get a visit by Goddess Lakshmi.  She visits only the houses that have been cleaned and decorated.  Goddess Lakshmi is the goddess of fortune.  We keep the house lit the entire night.  A small oil lamp is kept in every room.  One big lamp with ghee as  the fuel is kept in the kitchen and one another one with ghee is used to make Kajal/Kohl for our eyes.  More on that later.

The flowers must have been given with such goodwill that they lasted 2 weeks. A very long time, considering dryness of Karlstad and coldness of Swedish winters. 

At the end of the day, after grading/marking and some other work, I was exhausted and feeling sad for all the Diwalis I have spent away from home. What a strange life this is :( 

I knew I needed flowers. I have not bought flowers in months. Since September winter started to show its claws pretty fast.  There has hardly been any Sun and everything is going to sleep.  So I went to COOP, the closest grocery store where I have been shopping since I came.  It took me some time to start going to ICA--which is about 15 minutes walk away. 

I got the candles, and went about the store looking for flowers.  But there were none.  Not even the wilted ones. Only flower pots and some potted plants. 

Disappointed I decided to pay for the candles and leave.  At the checkout counter was F.  I have known him almost as long as I have been in Sweden.  His parents came from Hungary.  At one point, may be years and years ago, he told me that his sister was my first student.  She was in the first undergraduate class I ever taught. Which means it was the second semester of my first year of teaching. I taught only MA students in the first year.

Her name is V, and she is now married with a child.  All this time, I keep getting her updates from him, as shared where she works, when she was pregnant, and how old the child is.  Like any proud uncle he shares his nephews pictures and videos with me, as I am paying for the groceries I have bought. We discuss life at the counter, sometimes he helps me find things in the store.  So, nearly a decade of interaction.  I know his name and he always smiles when we see each other.  When you live in a place, a familiarity sets in, like a warm blanket.  He is one such face, who I mostly meet at the grocery store, because he works there and I shop there. 

So, this evening, when he was at the counter again as I was ready to pay I asked him, (btw, we mostly talk in english, not sure why.  I speak to others in Swedish).

'F, do you have flowers?"

"We should."

"I looked, but there are none."

"In the corner?" He asked pointing towards the potted plants. 

"None"

He looked confused and said, we just did.  They were wilting. Maybe we put them away to throw them out. 

"Well, I could use even the wilted ones.  I need them. Its a festival today, and I want to offer a few flowers. I can pay half or a certain amount of the original price. Or even full. I don't care. I just need some flowers.  It's too late and too dark to walk to ICA."

"Wait let me see"

He ran in quickly and came out with not-so-bad red roses.  

"Here" he handed those to me.  I had already paid, so I started to return to the other side of the cash register.

"No,  you don't need to pay".

I was surprised and insisted that I must. 

"No,  no need."

"Its two bouquets'

For the readers, flowers in Sweden are very expensive.  Especially in autumn and winter.  So, a bouquet that size could be 6-10 dollars.  He was giving me two.

"No, enjoy your festival."

"Then I must buy something else from the store, to contribute"

"No", he insisted waved his hand and said, again, 'have a nice festival".

I sighed and smiled.  The goodness of people of this world is everywhere. In these simplicities.  That exchange was based on having known each other for a while, a care, a concern a trust.

I walked home thinking, "Now that is a Happy Diwali"

I came home and despite my tiredness cooked kheer (rice pudding)--and made sure to save some for F.

The day after I walked to the store, with a bowl of Kheer, a packet of sparklers, and a thankyou note.  He was not there that day. I asked another woman working there to save it for him in the refrigerator. 

I wanted to make sure, he had a happy diwali too.  Possibly his first one!!

Thanks Universe for bring these 'simply beautiful' incidents my way. 

Happy Diwali!

And here is what I wrote for him in the thankyou note!

Thanks Fln,

 

You did not have to.  But you did, out of kindness. And guess what, the flowers have lasted longer than all the fresh flowers I have bought.  Maybe because they came with good wishes. Thanks for making my festival bright, not just with the flowers but also with your kindness.  

 

The longer living flowers—even though they were ready to be rejected –show how kindness can infuse ‘life’!  even when there is no hope. 

 

This is some rice pudding. Hope you will like it.  Ingredients.  Rice, milk, cardamom, sugar, raisins and nuts.  Hope you like it.

Glad Diwali (festival of lights). 

Tusen tack,

Ch

 

We also enjoy fireworks that day so enjoy 

Love and Laughter: The best medicine

 

Have some strange days, months, longer.   In that confusion of much work & deadlines, and finding direction--had to do the things that one needs to do to live. For example groceries.  For all he time I have lived in Sweden, I have not bought a car. Partly because almost every summer I spent home.  Being with family, trying to ensure I was there for my mother and being a part of my nephews lives. 

So on this day I was at the grocery store when I saw this woman and young girl hugging in the middle of the grocery store.  I stared.  Then I smiled. They smiled back and continued hugging. 

I walked away to another refrigerator.  But my heart needed to talk to them.  I turned around, "mother and daughter?"

They nodded.  I smiled, and brought my hand to my heart and then walked away. 

A few minutes later, I just asked. May I please take a picture of you, And may I please put this up on my blog.  They nodded.  Then came the stupid camera person part---for the original moment was not there. "Can you hug please?"  

They did.  No, not like that, like you were hugging actually, close and with broad smiles. 

They did.  Its such a warm picture.  Even though it is just a copy of the real moment.  

It truly brought joy to my heart.  Gave me a reason to turn my head towards the amount of love that exists in this world. On my way back, I met Sorina, my beautiful neighbour from Romania.  In my excitement, I showed her this picture. She said, "Oh, that's Isabella.  She used to live behind my house but has moved to another neighbourhood now".

Another reminder.   Happiness is always closer than we think.

Thankyou Universe!

Goodness Goes On

 

A young couple, midsummer, sun and goodness.

I was standing at the bus stop, counting the minutes left for the next bus.  They are a little slow in summer when university students are rare.  COVID has added other issues.

I saw this young couple with a garbage picking stick, walking, talking and cleaning the unruly grass as they walked and chatted casually.  I stopped them, 

Excuse me, are you doing this just to help the area stay clean?

They nodded and blushed.

May I please take a picture, I pointed at my phone.  Yes, they nodded.

May I please put it on my blog.  They looked at each other and nodded.

May I please know your names and put them too. Yeah, ok.  Johan and Ingrid they said.

Very Swedish names.

So glad they shared their names. I will remember them forever.  Johan and Ingrid, will be connected to this image of a citizen's duty. 

And a very Swedish practice of taking pride in the place you live in.  Do a little extra than needed.  Nothing wrong in going for a stroll, but even better if you take your garbage picking stick and contribute to the cleaning of the area, as you go about your walk.

Remember from last year? A similar story? (Click Here to Read)

That is my Sweden.  Thanks Sweden. Thankyou!!

Goodness is What continues

 

People who are good remain good.  Continue to be good, no matter what.  One thing about Sweden I love is its inherent quality of belief in duty.  People are generally honest, and are innately content.  May be because of its harsh climate, may be because of its socialist mindset, but people believe in and support policies that somehow create equality.  State takes care of everything so not very many opportunities to volunteer.  But guess what? People have imbibed the values and volunteer and work without recognition. 

Found this man picking garbage on a regular, but not very used pathway that leads to a forest on one side and to a shopping area on the other. When I asked him if he belonged to any organisation, 'Nope, just retired and do this as I go for my morning walk.'

Made my day. Took a pic after I spoke with him and asked for permission. 

Then asked if I could share his name on my blog.

"Naaa, he said, the pic is fine.  Needed no recognition, was friendly enough to talk to you--and then...left a gift of a smile and a good deed.

See what I mean, about an inherent idea of a duty, and no need for recognition?!

Niceness

Met this beautiful woman about two weeks ago at my favourite kaffe.  We struck up a lovely conversation and it felt like we were supposed to talk.  Many over lapping experiences.  But one thing that she has and I always admired --3 children and one adopted son from Afghanistan!!  Just a lovely, lovely person and  writer too!!

First published (March 20, 2020)-15 days ago (Today is April 5, 2020).  I want to add something. I had to rush for a meeting, and could not decide which bus to take, the one that came sooner but took longer or the one that came later but took less time, with a shorter route.  The one with shorter route, passed by me as I was thinking, I waved at the driver, I ran, and stopped and ran some more.  The gave up and started to walk away.  Then turned around and saw blinking lights of the bus as it was parked.  I ran and ran for next three minutes to get to the bus.  The driver kept waiting. Due to corona we could not board the bus in the front.  I waited till I got off.  Then I ran to the front door, and knocked.  Joined my hands and bowed!!  Tack så mycket!! Thanks so much.

Little joys of life!!  Grateful to all the kind souls!

_________________

Two days ago, I was coming home from grocery shopping. 

I walk. 

I still haven to bought  a car.  Never got around to it since the US. In Fiji, since coup happened within a year of me being there and then a burglary I kept thinking i was leaving and i never bothered.  Here, my international driving licences expired before I could get a car.  Summers were spent else were and I never got around to it. 

Some of the pain confusion and sadness might have resulted from this lack of movement although I travelled plenty.

Back to the story. I was walking back, it was cold and dark.  And close to my house a bus stopped at the bus stop.  It kept waiting.  It took me a few seconds to realise that the driver was waiting for me.  I waved my hand to let him know that I did not need the bus.  He started again and saw my hand and then stopped again.  He was not sure. I ran up to the door joined my hands, bowed and said, "Tack så jatte mycket, men into behöver jag.  Thanks a lot, but I do not need it."

This simple kindness made me feel human.  Many more incidences ---but just wanted to share this one.  

Simple things that we do and what a difference it makes!

How these simple things for many of us single or not, living their own country or not make us seem SEEN.

I had a wonderful conversation with this lady whose picture I share here.  That conversation too felt like a shower in fresh water something that cleanses you and makes you feel alive....she and I shared ideas, and had some overlapping experiences and understood that world in the same way.  She is Swedish.  Now that is a miracle. To be living completely in a different country and connecting with those  with a different background...Underbar!! wonderful!!

We should aim for that --giving someone attention at least a few times a week...

Go out and do that for someone!!  Come back and share it here, and I can guarantee you that it will make you feel better about yourself....have a lovely day y'all!!

All Kinds

First Published on May 20th, 2012, here it is again to show how we are given opportunities to smile on the 'snowiest' of days!!

You meet 'all kinds' everywhere. It was my luck to have gotten lost that day...so I could make a new acquaintance.  K, May 2012.

Some time in February, on a snowy day, I went our for a short walk.  Snow is snow.  Trees are trees.  And roads are roads.  I thought I knew where I was headed.  I took the risk and went on the road I had not walked before. At least not in the dark.  It must have been after 5 pm, so it was pitch dark.  

It was not long before I realized that I had lost my way.  There were trees all over.  There were a few fast moving cars. It did not seem like the path that a bus would take.   None of the cars was slowing down and there were no people on a lazy stroll, like I.......

It did not take me long to panic.  I was trying to be calm and trying to figure out various scenarios of what might happen if I do not find the way.  Or any person who could help me.

I turned around and saw that both directions looked the same.  

OK!! We are lost.  I took a deep breath and turned around.

It was then that I saw a young woman on her bike riding in my direction.  I asked her which direction to walk in to get to town.  Oh, you are about 30 minutes walk away....

Really, I walked that far...I had gone only for a short walk...

Ok, just direct me. 

No worries.  She tried to point out.  But after she saw an expression of hopelessness on my face, she smiled and said, 'No worries, I will walk with you' and got off her bike.

So we walked together for the next half hour.  Not only did we have a great conversation, but at the end of it she simply said, 'Here take my number so we can get together again, may be go for a walk sometime.'

"Sure' I said, I was touched.

But you know how often that happens.  How many times people exchange phone numbers and never call.  I personally take a while before I will call someone. 

After a few days I got a text from K, 'Do you want to go for a walk?"

I could not make it, but we exchanged a few texts.

About a week later she texted again but I was really sick and could not leave home.  I stayed sick for nearly a month and so could not connect.  Two overseas trips in between and then finally I contacted her in early May.  I had felt really sad for not being able to meet her again.  Simply because here was a person who was making an effort to start a possible friendship.  

From the time I had questioned friendships and way various forms of 'human interactions' work, often on 'need to need' basis.....I had vowed that whenever  I met someone who took extra time to be there, I will honor them.  However, the last few years have been extremely busy and it has been difficult to start  friendships or maintain them.  Infact, I remember meeting a Venezualan girl in Colombia, who although wrote to me a very kind email had said, 'even though at this point in life--with three daughters and a husband, I have no time for new friendships, I wanted to say that I felt that I had always known you.'

I had felt the same warmth, but I agreed with her.  I knew what she meant.

So when K had worked so hard on keeping in touch and because we lived so close to each other, I knew I had to make an effort.  

So we decided to go for a walk. I met K outside of Pressbyran--which is an equivalent of 7/11-ish convenience store.  Although they are hardly open past 8 pm.  K was really tired so we simply walked to her apartment.  Her roommates are from Ethiopia.  

K talked about her daughter, her short stay in India, her love for travel, and especially Asia, and her desire to go to Vietnam.  While we talked she made me a delicious cup of cardamom tea.  I mean she actually put real cardamom in the tea water, and brewed the tea just right and served it with milk.  What delight.

Since she was really tired we did not talk much, but when I left I was smiling.

Simply because that evening had become another testimonial to my all time beliefs, 'You meet all sorts of people everywhere.'

You see, people have often told me that people in the 'North' are not that polite or warm or kind.  

I disagree. 

I think you can find kind people everywhere.  Even though I am slightly bitter about my time in the US and the idea of friendship and community, I met some of the nicest people there.  I keep in touch, on a regular basis with at least 20-30 people from the US.  Granted some of them are not truly americans, but some are.  And there were many other americans I had short term friendships with, and very often I was on the receiving end of their kindness.  

Niceness/Kindness like love and anger, is not limited by any boundary and is not exclusive to any religion, faith, nationality or ethnicity.  

So, I am somewhat embarrassed at my open disdain of 'lack of continuation' in the US friendships and relationships.  My time there was tough in numerous ways.  But I survived due to kindness of people.  

You really do meet all sorts of people everywhere.   This post is dedicated to K, who not only showed me the right path, by walking with me that one snowy evening, but also pointed me back to my own heart---so I may remember--my belief---

All kinds, everywhere.  

Random Acts of Kindness: Part 2--the funny side!

First published on June 10, 2013---needed to be published close to the previous post, to make sense....and see it all in the context!! 

So, when you are at a university, you cannot take things too seriously.  Above is a picture of two lonely gloves looking for their mates.  The finders have added their own touch.  A love sign, and one of irreverence.  Have your pick!! 

Random Kindness: When Someone Cares!

First published on June 3, 2013--republishing it today since I saw a pair of gloves on the ground.  The gloves were on the ground but above snow. I am wondering, either they were recently dropped or it had been lost in snow for a few days, emerged only in the last few days when it was slightly warm and sun had parted the 'snow shades'!!

A lone glove, waiting to be claimed.  House 12 at the university!!

When someone cares!

When someone cares he/she pays attention!

When someone cares he/she stops for an act of random kindness!

When someone cares and shows—we know that they have beating heart!

I remember a friend who grew up in Wisconsin had once told me that ‘We kept our doors open all winter, just in case someone was stranded and needed to come in at night’

So, I do not agree when people say that people in cold places have cold hearts.

Here in Sweden, which climate-wise can be easily called God Forsaken—I have seen such random acts of Kindness. One of them is visible in the a special care taken for the lost gloves, hats and other winter accessories. 

In Sweden, once carries a gazillion things in winter and is bound to drop them several times.  Loosing a glove, a hat, an earmuff is quite common.  And people are used to seeing many accessories half buried in snow.  But often I have noticed the kindness of people in the way they pick these things up, shake the snow off and place them in a place so that  the owner can easily locate them.  Sometimes tied to a door handle, sometimes placed on a pile of snow turned into ice, sometimes hung on a low hanging branch of an old tree.

Sometimes stuck to a wall in a hallway….like in the picture above.

Can you imagine the face of a person who is looking for the scarf that was a gift from her grandmother to her age ten?  She is sad for a days only to find the scarf carefully placed on a branch of a tree.  For a moment, she feels united with her grandmother. A sigh leaves her --and she mutters a thank you--that no is around to hear.  She is happy all day--and decides to bake a cake for her younger sister--who she usually chides!!  

She may not even connect the two events, but it was that random act of kindness that brought about a swelling in her heart!!

In many such acts of random kindness, the beneficiary and the benefactor may never meet.  But in the asynchronous transaction something very simple is exchanged.

Two hearts-have acknowledged the power of caring, stopping a few minutes, and living consciously!!