Morning Routine: Morning deserves your attention

The following message was written on January 16, 2021.

Can you believe it?

Never had the time to return. 

And we are in the last two weeks of 2020. It goes fast --although 2020 seemed to have lasted longer. Its 8:30 am in the picture. I love it this time. It's quiet and beautiful. Both dark and bright. May you all be surrounded by warmth and love .....

December 30, 2022

I do not know which image i was going to add, but its been dull and dreary and yet I love Sweden during this time of the year. I am adding a pic from Gothenburg, a city I have been spending time in---for a while now...for the last four months. 

So much is going on...and I have no idea where to begin or what to say. As the year wraps around, the same questions remain, that I had three decades ago. Going through my books I read some old journal entries from 1990-91. Before I went to the US. At the cusp of it. I was in another country at the time. Looking back, did I ever think I will be in so many countries. Have met so many people and yet feel a sense of aloneness --even though there is this joy of having known some really great people?

There are two issues, one is that one has not created their own family, which is always alienating. No matter how much I try to keep up, it is a loosing battle. I used to remember birthdays and anniversaries and send gifts and what not....but slowly...it all starts to slip.  You have stuff to take care of ...and you have only two hands. Then, it gets too much because you have little of your support system.

So being on your own in different countries has you spread too thin and in too many places.  

The other thing is that I have met some of the nicest people. I heard from my friend ST in the US, who was my neighbour at Penn State via a phone message. Then I spoke with my friend EDD in Spain, whom I met at  Penn State --while i was learning Spanish. In some ways, the two things are not connected. Meaning learning spanish and knowing her because she was not my teacher. But we met at the busstop at Penn State, almost every few days, started talking and then started writing. I had a conference in France and I called her to ask to come visit me. Instead she said, no you visit me. That was 2005. She visited me in Fiji in 2006.  And we have kept in touch. Me through four countries since we met. She through a marriage and raising two children and hopping towns for jobs, getting selected for a government job etc.

We talked like school girls only with grown up problems :)

Did I ever think I would have a friend from Spain or one from the US? Or many from the US and some from Germany and from Greece and Cyprus and Brazil and New Zealand and Morroco and Israel?

I had wanted pen pals....but it never materialised. I finally got my real vänner---real friends. 

There is so much goodness.....that I think many lifetimes will be difficult to explain the gratitude I feel.

Yet, a kind of exhaustion at having travelled and gathered little Moss. 

I did not share here but I had a job in the United Kingdom for a year. I will write about it at some point. Among other things that did not work, I missed Sweden to my core. When I returned at easter to take care of a few things I realised how much this felt like home. Even though I do not feel grounded anywhere. 

So as the year turns...and I gather strength again to work on projects and doing new things....I must recognise that life is not as simple as we thought when we were children. We can get what we want and yet feel a kind of angst. A displacement. It can happen even if you stay at the same place...you know, even it is A WONDERFUL LIFE....

So for now, I want to thank all those who have touched my life, be grateful for all the abundance and also be grateful for all that I want...

I try to share something of use towards the end of the year. Here is a link to one of my favorite channels. Pick Up Limes.

Here the creator shares her morning routine.  If for nothing else, it is a peaceful watch. May you have a calm, productive and beautiful year.  The kind that makes you aware that despite all the things that have not happened yet, or despite your disappointments at life, you have still had a great life...at least a few of your dreams have come alive...be grateful and be joyous...

Gott Nytt Âr, Happy New year and here is the link...

Happy Morning Routine...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cx_veZygQkU

When Universe Responds

 Pardon the slight delay and the break in writing. I am in transition and will share more later.

For now, I had moved to another country for a short while and am enroute--back home. 

Fuchsia: I saw the flowers for the first time in my first year in Sweden. Then, I saw them everywhere.  Next in Thailand, then in the United Kingdom and so on...

In my first year in Sweden, I had gone to Stockholm to get a visa for travel. I had to wait a few hours and I took a stroll in the beautiful gardens around the embassy.  It was May-June. I still remember what I was wearing. Long black skirt that came down to my ankles with a black blouse and white collar and cuffs. 

I walked past these giant planters and saw these flowers. I don't think I had seen them before. Or at least not noticed them before. That must be over a decade ago.

I kept asking people what the name was. You see, when we name things, we honour them. We also place a right and a relationship on it. 

No one could give me the answer.  Which is strange because they seemed to be everywhere during summer. 

Then I spent about six months in Wales, UK and found them everywhere.

About two weeks ago I was walking back home and stopped to say hello to a couple who lived a few houses down. I am strange that way.  I often talk to people with children.  They had a new born. They asked me why I was taking pics. 

'I write a blog and I just document life. And I like that garden' I pointed to the house next to them. 

'Oh, nothing to take pics of here' they lamented, 'we had a baby this year and have not had the time to fix our garden'

But a baby is more important, and prettier' I said looking at their beautiful daughter.

I asked her name. (I don't remember now).  I looked at the young 10 month old baby and said what I say to all the new borns, 'Welcome to the world.'

'This really needs some work'.  They said pointing at a large shrub.

There they were. The same flowers.

'Ah, let me ask again, even though I have never received a proper response' I thought.

'Fuchsia'

'Ah, so those are Fuchsia', I thought. 

'The name of the color comes from them, but I have seen them in so many colors, pink, white, light green'

Yeah, they nodded. 

Only a few days ago I had taken a video of the flowers and asked in my mind again, why does no one know your name...you are both popular and pretty."

It seems that this time when I spoke to the flowers, they conspired with the universe to get me the answer.

Hmm...sometimes we just need the right channels to the universe. 

We also need conviction to keep asking questions.

But mostly, we need to never give up and believe that we will have the answers, the solutions the pathways, when we least expect it.

Timing is paramount.

May you all have the patience and conviction and may your questions be answered!!

Make sure you are listening. 

Putting Smiles on Public: One Stich at a Time

 

So here you, another picture of goodness,

This one made me smile. So I went back to look at the hanging note. 

Some people though...sooooo beautiful.  I will write more about this later. For now, I wanted to bring you all a smile too!!

Lisbon, Nottingham, Race & Gender

I have about 100 drafts on this website. Yes, 100!  With some writing and some pictures.  So, often I have no time to go back and check.  But browsing through some drafts I found this one from 2011.  It did not even have a title but just took the first words in the post --Lisbon, Portugal and turned it into the title by default. Which caught my attention.  

I was there for a conference.  I remember this picture because a stranger who I talked to for an hour took it.  I remember it because I had lied and made up a few things about myself while talking to him.  The thing is when you travel as much as I have, people cannot locate you, and they cannot exactly place you.  For a long time, I did not know this.  But I learnt it over the years.  When I was called, a Mexican,  a Spanish,  a Siberian,  a Chinese,  a Nepali,  an Italian, an Australian (often in Fiji) and the best 'a half-breed'.  So much so that an Indian woman in Fiji, my first semester there, after asking me a few times where I was from, and me explaining that I grew up in India--finally asked me, "No, so what race are you?'.

Race is an interesting concept. I had none, until I left India.  We do not talk in terms of race. Indian is not a race. Its a culture. A civilisation.  But no race.  Why? Its one of the oldest surviving civilisations and also has experienced much more mixing of people than possibly anywhere else in the world (a geneticist who studies this told me).  So even in a country like the US and definitely in Europe, people of Euro origin have intermixed more among themselves than other races, and the same goes for other races there--afro origin, asian, etc. It might be changing slightly, but will take a long time to arrive at what is a country like India.  We have 'everything'.  People who look white and those who look oriental and those who look african and oh yes middle eastern with that peculiar nose.  

  For those who are interested in learning more can read in this new study  (Craniofacial reconstruction of the Indus Valley Civilization individuals found at 4500-year-old Rakhigarhi cemetery)to see what Indians 1000s of years ago looked like. You cannot really place them in any part of the world. They seem to have all kinds of features. 

So I have no race.  

We have intermingled for 1000s of years.  But it was in the US where this question became so very important.  Now after applying for jobs and grants around them world I have realised how important that question is mainly in the predominantly 'white nations'.  The questions on gets asked are obviously --gender (and presently they add questions on in-between genders, including non-binary), race, religion, disability etc.

Race--religion--why is that important?  At least when I was growing up, we were never asked that in India.  May be our names told it all. I will not be surprised if they start asking those questions, what with missionaries converting like crazy and people keeping their old names to get some benefits.  They can get benefits as christians as minorities and with their names they claim benefits of the backward classes.  It also allows them easy blending in a Hindu majority country.  Its cheating but many do it.  So may be now in India too we will start asking about religion on the questionnaires.  

But race?  We are all one race.  Even those with different skin colors.  In one family we can have different colors.  Interesting how in countries like Fiji and Botswana they almost called me white, where as most of my 'white' friends, especially the ones in north America  always mentioned 'how dark I was'.  Reminds me how Gandhi's son talked about being beaten up by blacks in South Africa for not being black enough and by whites for not being white. :)

Lisbon, Porgutal, 

So, in Lisbon, after the conference was over, I had about 20 hrs left and I decided to see the city.  Met this guy from Greece, who tried to guess where I was from and failed miserably. I do not remember what I told him.  I definitely am honest about being an Indian --but other things I let slide to give me privacy and a sense of security.  Those things include talking about length of my marriage and the number of my children.  I am not alone in this.  In my travels I have met many women, mostly white and asian, who talk about wearing a wedding ring to create a ring of security around them when travelling. Women have shared with me how they usually talk about their husband coming to visit in a day or so. 'We are travelling and will meet in the capital city in two days. We wanted to see different cities', they tell fellow male travellers. In this case I spun stories as well. It was fun and made me feel safe. 

Another experience when you are travelling happens when you are having a decent chat with someone and the guy usually says, 'Can I buy you a drink?'. I want to shake my head hard and say emphatically, 'No, absolutely not' who do you think I am?' But I usually make up stuff like, I have a bus to Portugal in 20 minutes, or I am leaving town tonight. I detest this way of buying someone's time. Coming from where I come from, girls from good families would never ever do this. And what strange way of buying someone's time.  We buy drinks and meals for our friends all the time, but we have known them a long time and that act is not 'buying' but a contribution towards an ongoing relationship.  Has meaning. 

A male friend said he never lied when he was travelling. 'Ah, the male privilege!!'  I am not a gender-studies person, nor do I believe in this crazy 'female independence' (another post is required on it--I believe in interdependence of the genders, males and females need each other).  But I do believe in biological advantage.  Well, one does not have to believe in it, it is.  

It just is.

A woman has years of fertility, men usually don't.  Women are more vulnerable during travel, men are not.  Not as much.  Men have more physical strength, women do not.  Physically, women are weaker.  Here is women's advantage: they get pregnant and they can choose not to share it with the man.  Walk away, abort the child without his permission or never tell him.  Ofcourse paternity tests today can help, but what if she aborts without the man knowing.  That is biological advantage. And as a researcher let me add 'Given all things constant' meaning exceptions exist and somethings can be altered--but there is such a thing as nature and our societies understood that.  And therefore most cultures placed importance on women taking care of themselves. Not provoking men or placing themselves in dangerous situations.  A friend and I debated recently over this (a real good friend)--that women should not be blamed for dressing the way they do, or putting themselves in harm's way if something bad happens to them.  My answer is what my older cousin shared with me.  When you know that you have splinters and glass spread all over the road outside of your house, it is stupid to want to put responsibility on the street cleaners and blame them if everything is not clean. And one cannot wait to leave the house.  Instead, the wise thing to do is to wear shoes.  Secure your feet.  And then help the cleaners clean, work with the community on weekends to clean it.  But keep wearing your shoes until yo know its completely safe!!

Today in this female independence environment women are told that the problem is always 'on the outside. and that we can and must teach men to be different/better.  Absolutely we can!

But we ALWAYS have.  That is why there was always a difference between men who were raised well and those who were not.  In India joint families were great for that reason. Men grew up with aunties and sisters and cousins and had to learn how to behave with women.  Sure there are some men who are not that good or caring.  But this image of men as animals especially in non-western cultures is definitely media generated.  I can say this from my experience. But we should never forget--never forget there is such a thing as biology and nature.  When we ignore that we create a schizophrenic society, as I see much in the west --with non western societies hopelessly following suit. Without any thought.  So in our present day societies women have become like men, taking all responsibility and doing much more.  Men on the other hand have not learnt to be like women.  They cannot.  And may be that also keeps a bit of sanity to this world (a detailed post on that will come later).

Nottingham, January, 2011

But what I do do is talk to children. All over the world. Grateful when their parents allow me to talk to them. I think we do not give them enough attention.  So I can say 'I love you' in about 13-16 languages.  Hindi, Urdu, English, Spanish, Swedish, German, Russian, Magyar (Hungarian), Setswana, Punjabi, Bengali, Gujarati, French, Greek, Chinese, Polish (and now I am forgetting some)---I love to say that to children around the world.  It is so beautiful to see their expressions --a delight when they feel someone is giving them attention in their language. This above picture was with a little tourist in Nottingham, where I had gone for  some official work. 

Nottingham, January, 2011

So yes, I have no race--I am just a human being and often not even focussed on being a woman, but I have a heart and I speak the language of children....good enough?

Splendour of India, Exhibition at Queen's Gallery. UK

Saw a poster for this exhibition in subways (called the London Tube, or metro by some).  I knew I had to see it.  It was small and compact but ultra rich!!  Most of the materials were made of gold, silver, and precious stones.  Much of this was given as gifts to the British, by India, a country which for several decades --no centuries---would be called a developing country.  The money that the exhibition made to the British authorities allowed them to invest in more museums and put some money in research. 

Above is an ink well presented to a British official by a prince., in a shape of a peacock boat. All made of gold and precious stones.  But if you look at the following picture you see what it actually is. How much more than just an ink well.  It had a pen knife, a scissor, two ink wells and two spare nibs, fitted in the boat shaped 'ink' well--all made of gold!!

Here is a tool box that contains a hammer (placed outside for viewing).  This exhibition in general was something that makes you wonder, how much was stolen and ripped off from countries.  I remember attending an exhibition about 8 years ago in Singapore, where Indian jewellery and fashion was on display.  Hair clips made of gold and rubies, purses, scabbards, covering for braids (it was over 12 inches long with a hinges on the side, women were supposed to put it around their braid), writing tools with gold covering etc.  We were not allowed to take pics.  But here is something to think about---all of it was owned by some Sheikh in Middle East.  If I remember carefully, in Kuwait. 

Were they stolen and then sold? Were they sold? (doubt it)?  We will never know.  But we do know that gold was not the only thing that was stolen.  Material things are usually associated with much pride and respect.  People and countries who loose that also loose their self esteem and other things related to pride. 

Sure enough countries are now trying to bring the stolen goods back. some countries are actually going to extreme measures to retrieve them back.  Even hiring high level thieves to get them back.  

I will end with one of my favourite stories from the US, when I was teaching International Communication (post 9/11).  Post 9/11, I got to see so many great things about my students.

As a part of an assignment the first part of which was understanding a country, and its media and second part to create and NGO, the group representing China created an NGO that would work with locals and international media to bring back the stolen goods from Iraq museum!!  

Goodness exists, and we should never forget it.