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Showing posts with label Musings. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Musings. Show all posts

Monday, June 10, 2024

Movements and Purpose: Peace and Clarity


First published nearly four years ago, (July 10, 2020) here it is again, for we can always use clarity. 

I promise I will return to this blog and publish at least one or two post every few weeks. As you all know I have invested in a  new blog.  But this blog is dear to me --and I will continue with this as long as I can.

Apologies that its been nearly a year since I wrote here. But I will be returning with new pics etc. 


Holding petals of cherry blossoms, as a sign of hope, even when they fall on the ground. 





Year 2020 has been really strange. I have some of my own stuff going on. Hope to ride it through.  I am still grateful for much good in my life. 

While I am really disturbed by what is going on in the US---and all the anger was justified, I am not sure, if all the violence is ---or if it is/will be useful. 

Gandhi, who inspired Martin Luther King said, 'An eye for an eye leaves the whole world blind'.

What would be the result of this?  They toppled George Washington's statue over this weekend.  Geogre Washington and the Cherry Tree is how I first learnt about him, in fourth grade.  Doesn't matter if the story was true, it was about telling the truth.

Before I go too far, I will say that India's independence movement though heavily influenced by Gandhi's non-violence strategies, was along side accompanied by and did require violence and killing and burning (not looting)--so I am not ignoring the fact that sometimes all this becomes a need for change. 


Now, back to violence. Is removing Jefferson, who I read in relation to journalism (the most famous quote, if I were to choose between newspapers without a government or government without newspapers, I would choose the former--) who definitely owned slaves, as it became public in the late 1990s, where some African origin people were cousins to caucasian people--going to help? They did horrible stuff, surely.  I also feel that way about many British and Mughal kings, who have been honoured in Indian history. Both were colonisers, with a God complex of civilising peoples. Sometimes I think and wonder why Hindus let their kindness turn into stupidity of believing people without a culture, without an understanding of the delicate relationship between man and nature that Hindus (also Native Americans) naturally live by...

But as they say, 'Vinaash kale, Vipreet buddhi'.  When time is not in your favour, you make bad decisions. 

But what I still ask is....what about the Native Americans?  The only reason today BLM is ongoing is because there IS an African population that is spread around the country. But Native American population is small and limited to the reservations. 

And do the protestors have a solution?  What will come after this?  Is there a a solution that is proposed?  That is my issue with anarchy.  Civil rights demanded right to vote and access to public facilities.  There was a clear demand and a very peaceful, concentrated effort.  No looting, as far as I know.  

Think Occupy movements.  At the time it was going on in the US, there was a similar movement in India.  It was not called that though. It was called anti-corruption movement.  And at the end of a year, there was a new political party, with household broom as its symbol, implying cleaning of the political system. It called itself, the common man party.  Ok, with all its idealises, which impressed even me, they have not really fared v. well. Although in 2014, they won by landslide and started some 'socialist projects' thereafter.  They are already struggling now.  But the point is that --it was not a violent movement, and had a goal in mind (albeit funded by outside India forces to rupture its fabric.).  But non-violence won them votes. 

How about violent protests? Or associated violence? 

Will these violent protests result in fear in the white population where they will not say anything even when they are right?  Just like it was before for the African origin people?  Will it move more people to buy guns?  Will it create a more fearful society?

I am not sure if this will lead to love and trust.  That is something that has to be built over the years.  I know and understand that there was systematic racism.  

No question about it.

But what no one is willing ot talk about is, the breakdown of family which lead to all this. Families created ways of supporting each other, businesses and communities.  Now we have individuals relying on the state.  Single mothers, and even single fathers.  Children being raised by grandmothers because parents are either jailed (yes, quite often wrongly) or on drugs, or not responsible.  Imagine the collective frustration that it leads to?

But I am worried about the young, I fear for the ones who have lost family members in these riots.  While it is true that African slaves laid the foundation for America and Native Americans were the ones who tended their own land---would looting those who worked real hard for generations and never owned a slave work?  How does that work out?  How many businesses owned by blacks and many immigrants have been destroyed in this? 

I believe in Karma --but not over one lifetime --over many lifetimes--so things even out.  Balance out.  It does get balanced out, even if we are not aware of it. 

I have stopped watching the news. Actually, it happened a long time ago. I used to be addicted to news.  Especially when I was teaching international communication.  I have no background in Political science or international relations.  By immersing myself in books and commentaries both NPR and BBC, I learnt much about the world.  I took advantage of all the free audios and CDs that these channels gave away for educational purpose.

But when I left the US, timings and locations changed.  Mind set changes.  It becomes hard to keep up. Now I know v. little about the US.   Even Sweden.  Because news bothers me.  I keep away.  In fact, I have stopped going to FaceBook.  And only visit twitter, and that too sporadically.

But I have been affected by seeing so much destruction in the US.  I did not get along/agree with the culture of the country.  But now --years later, I realise that the actual reason is that I am allergic to many concepts of modernity that go with 'anything goes'.  There was no sense of discipline or self-control in the body, mind and language.  

India, influenced by the west is trying to go the same route.  On twitter I find many interesting young people who are challenging it --just as a many young people who want to belong mentally and culturally to the west.  There are young women who have disassociated the shame linked to drinking and living together culture.  Then there are those --both men and women, who believe that early marriage and joint families are the best ways to keep a society together.   I agree with the latter, and I say that because of having travelled the world. 

But having said that (and I will come back to that later) I must say that US is an absolutely beautiful country.  Wide and vast.  If not culturally, the US is at least climatically v. diverse (although India beats it and we will talk about it somewhere else, India has about 15-16 climate zones, that is how diverse it is).  Culturally, the US is pretty uniform thanks to the corporate and big business culture, the same stores everywhere, the same ways of dressing, the same pizza and chicken nuggets.  From food to language to ways of dressing, except where extreme differences in climate warrant a different outfit. 

But climatically--geographically US provides a great diversity and is absolutely beautiful.  When I watch its old movies (I was addicted to AMC--American Movies Classic in the US) I longed for the old 'community' that existed in the US at some point.  And realised that the community that faded post 60s.  Then came civil rights, one of the greatest achievements for the US.  But where are the Native Americans?  In my decade and a half stay in the US, one hardly met, saw, interacted with Native Americans (wrongly called Red Indians, because obviously Europeans had little sense of direction --Ha, Ha...but all jokes apart, it is said that when all the continents were one, some Native American tribes might have migrated from Indian plains.  The high cheek bones are certainly reflective.  Won't go into detail here, it needs much research).  

Another question, do the African Americans realise that the Christianity and Jesus they swear by also came to them via colonisation, a violent form of forced beliefs?  Read 'Being Different: An Indian Challenge to Western Universalisation' by Shri Rajiv Malhotra. Where he challenges this whole belief propagated by Christianity that Jesus died for ALL of humanity, ALL of humanity is born with original sin, and ALL of humanity needs to be redeemed, and that redemption can only come through the Church. Oh and Btw, Jesus was blonde and all that.  I never understood why no one questioned that? It made sense in India, where our Gods are coloured in all sorts of colors, white, and black and green and blue---colors are just their qualities.  Btw, blue and green ---my most favourite colors because blue and green are the most common colors in nature. 

So the real question in the heat of this 'movement' is....will Caucasian people be fine with bowing to a Jesus that looks physically similar to Bin Laden or Hussain?  And notice, I just mean physical similarity.  Haven't we--by lying about the way Jesus may have looked, switched the concept of purity, love and goodness to one race? Now, to the media.  Denzel Washington is an actor par excellence --I have not seen 'Hurricane' but understand he gave a stellar performance.  However, he got an Oscar for 'Training Day' where he plays a corrupt cop.  Halle Berry, the African cinderella -got an Oscar for a similarly negative movie.  When they are remembered for roles where African Americans are not shown in good light--what impressions do we get of different races? It was obvious when in the 70s and 80s--BET-Black Entertainment Television created a niche for stories of black people, -acted in, written by and directed by black people.  Good.  But guess what, it also undermined the integration, assimilation effort.  Now there were different television channels, just like different churches. 

Music in african and caucasian churches was different too.  An entirely different culture.  No intention of meeting or merging.  Not saying that merging and assimilation also equal differences.  There needs to be a respect for the difference.  If one culture favours large and joint families then another culture should not impose a small nuclear family style of life.  Nuclear families ---in the long run, end up being one-child families, which is the most vulnerable a person can be to the state.  All over the world, the focus on women working and reduction in the size of the family --has also seen a rise in broken families and increased social chaos.  Family, family, family.  Not a solution only when it is not supportive (needs another long post)

And as African Americans embraced Christianity they forget their own sacred symbols (of which family was an important one).  That has been the project of Christianity to begin with.  If I had not travelled and lived in every continent, I would not have been able to say this with conviction. Islam did the same, but with different intensity. It used language and repetition of prayers and phrases.  Because image was 'haram' (illicit). Family is important because that is the best way of increasing the number of followers.  So, it did not need to dismantle the old ways. 

Monotheistic ways in general did not honour local cultures.  Sacredness of each culture was disconnected from the people and their daily existence.  And the people converted weere asked to believe in the concept of divine which had nothing to do with them as a people, their surroundings, their rituals and traditions.  Slowly, civilisations, ways of interacting with nature and understanding ourselves in context of our environment died out. 

And lets not forget that goes for Caucasian people, even though they have forgotten how Christianity came to them.  With the same violence and manipulation.  Caucasians were --Celts and Vikings, their Gods similar to Greek and Hindu pantheons. 

What got lost in this process was sacredness of the land itself.  Now sacred is just Jerusalem or Mecca.  Not the Americas.  In Mexico the sacred sites that are considered Christian today,-- are actually original sacred sites of the natives. 

Recently found out that Mount Rushmore was carved at a sacred site of Native Americans.
Yes, the great American icon that the world know Hollywood by, was a sacred site of Native Americans.  Not very different from making Churches at the desecrated sites of Pagan temples.  Reminds me of numerous Mosques made in India over ancient Hindu temples.  Another strategy for Muslim invaders was to disfigure Murthis (images and carvings of Gods, --DO NOT CALL THEM STATUES OR IDOLS, ENGLISH HAS NO WORD FOR MURTHIS..murthis are embodiments of energies of the Gods, and temples are not places of worship, by Houses of Gods, meaning the Deities reside there.  We live by their rules and use the space by those rules). Islamic invaders disfigured the Murthis, because they knew that those cannot be worshipped. Either a new murthi has to be installed or the temple abandoned.  The idea was to kill Hinduism and Hindu practices.  Not different from what Christianity did to the world.  This idea that anything that was not Christian was sinful and illegitimate. And then the connection of Christianity with whiteness. 

My travels revealed so much to me.  It became hard to ignore inconsistencies in this thought process. 

In comparison, Hindu belief is that ALL OF THE WORLD IS DIVINE, including the not so good parts of it.  ALL OF US ARE GOD POTENTIAL, we behave differently so long as our minds are covered in ignorance and we are unaware of our truth. And hence the focus on Yoga, Meditation, vegetarianism so that we keep our bodies light, to raise our vibration at higher level.  The process is so subtle that it may take lifetimes to perfect.  This world is our Karma-Bhoomi---the field where we act--our grounds for research, practice and improvement.  Higher souls come, at their own will.  But most of us are earth bound.  Then there are other planets and galaxies.  Ofcourse, our technology is not advanced enough to understand or see all kinds of life.  All beings do not look like us, nor are they made of the same material.  On some planets beings may be made of 🔥 Fire---or other elements (according to hinduism--we have five-paanch tattva-elements in us: Fire, water, earth, ether/space and metal).  Different planets will require different elements or levels of combinations for existence.

PS: a detour--look at a Havan (fire) ritual in Africa.  Definitely Hinduism, but it is closer to  nature based religions that Africans practiced.  Hinduism provides books and reasons and science behind it--(Hinduism is both oral and written tradition)--click the link to view. 

So, do African Americans realise that their ancestors had different beliefs than Christian beliefs and that they were made to feel 'shame' for believing in nature and natural forces? 

Will this movement also be beneficial for Native Americans?  Do the Native lives matter too?  

Please listen to Michael Holding and Thomas Sowell who are both of 'African origin' and suggest that this movement needs a deeper closer look....

PS: This is a terrible video, but in haste this is the only one I can find right now. All the money comes from Churches in US, UK, Australia and even Scandinavia--who are hell bent on converting a nation like India.  To their disappointment, Indians return to dharma--that which supports.  Hinduism and faith in nature and energy and the idea that we are all are divine, rather than being sinners. (what a sad concept :()

Some of these questions that have been coming to mind.  So, news bothers me much.  I have stopped watching or reading the news.  I hope peace prevails.  I hope there is true reconciliation.  After civil rights, the country still remained divided.  I remember asking my African American friends about it.  

'At some point, we just become different, our music, our hobbies, our interests' she had said, 'and we drift apart'.

I always ask myself, about India, how did it work there? I grew up in Delhi and most of my friends were like me. But I did have friends who were from different parts of the country --meaning they spoke another language at home, their food was different etc.  But there was a connection that brought us together as Indians.  I did not see that between white and black Americans   It was as if their history was different, and their language might have been different as well.  Their churches certainly were.

But in all this, I think media has played a big role.  They focussed so much on divisions, and now that they have divided, they then highlight differences. 

More than interracial marriages --there is a need for --a real need for inter-racial friendships.  Friendships are a gateway to change.  They initiate interactions, understanding, cultural exchange, learning, and may eventually lead ot inter-racial families.  But that process is important rather than only focussing on inter-racial marriages.

On my end, it is different. I DON'T HAVE A RACE.  I have a culture, a civilisation in me.  I never thought of myself as having a race.  Nor do I think there was ever any racial discrimination against me.  But then, it might be, because I don't define myself by race, so I do not notice anything.  I did notice lack of friendships between Blacks and White (detest using these terms, for me it is African-American and Caucasian Americans).  

I speak on another level, on a discrimination that is so wide-spread and has been absorbed so much that it is touted as a reality and no one questions it.  That is that 'pagan religions are demonic'.  That being in communion with nature and natural forces, that to honour them is against 'God'.  That Jesus or Allah are the only truth.  

I wonder if BLM movement is wise enough or big enough to question institutions that have propounded that belief so much so that people think Hinduism and religions that do not follow the 'monotheistic-abrahamic-way' is not just derogatory but a sign of cultural illiteracy and spiritual shortsightedness? 

Things to think about.  I hope and pray Peace Prevails. I hope people chart out a goal a plan for what they want out of this.  I hope they address that looting is not a solution.  And more specifically, in this environment we do not know who all were paid to those, who did it as a 'mob mentality' and who just want to misdirect the movement.

Right now its all Chaotic, and things and concepts are murky.   

Without the clarity that the civil rights movement had, we might not have a plan after this destruction.

And that concerns me.  

Once again, I pray for Peace, and Clarity. 

























Friday, June 2, 2023

Sunsets and Sunrises


I know, I know I am slipping, but I am not giving up on this blog. Never will, not matter how rare this becomes. Just to let you know that I do have another active blog, which is 'public' and I will be dedicating more time to that, but this one remains dear and some very dear posts will be shared here only, because I share them with a few special friends who continue to visit this space. 

First published on May 9, 2012, these pictures were taken in Spring of 2009. The first picture is etched in my memory, as one of the most magical moments in my travel. I was on my own that evening, there is a bagpipe show in the town square and as the sunset, it reflected the stunningness of the town in one image. I knew I had to make a memory of it. Hope you all enjoy it too. 

have a beautiful day, wherever you are...and notice the sunsets and sunrises..


__________________________


How many sunsets and sunrises will we see before we tire of them?  I have not come to a conclusion yet.  Because even today, after have numerous pictures of sunsets and sunrises whenever I look at one, I stop, sigh and smile.  And I click. I sigh and smile again before moving on my way.  In a life of uncertainties, there are a few things I can count on.  That these simple-everyday miracles, will leave me breathless is one of them!



The above picture was taken in Queensland, New Zealand.  I was backpacking through the south island, since I knew I was going to be leaving the Pacific soon.  I never regretted it.  Only I travelled so much that year I have only faint memories of NZ.  But what I do remember clearly is--this one sunset in Queensland and one sunrise, above Lake Matheson, from behind the mountains.  I will put up those pictures later. For now, I just wanted to share this sunset reflected in a window.  Almost looked like a painting mounted on a brick wall!! Queensland, New Zealand, 2009. 





The above picture was taken from a plane.  This was important in more than one ways. I was heading towards New Zealand to visit my friends Pat and Peggy.  I had a lecture at Victoria University and  a week later I was to head towards my unplanned backpacking trip of South East Asia.  Those two months remain the highlight of my life so far.  I will write notes some other time. For now, I hope that this bright star makes you do what it makes me do everytime....stop, sigh and smile.  New Zealand, 2009.

So, how many sunsets and sunrises do we see  before we get tired?  Before we say, 'Oh no?" Before we look at it and roll our eyes in 'So what?"... I don't think there is a number yet....so far....like the uncertainty and infinity of Pi, these natural wonders take me to something deep inside me, where I am too insignificant, yet an important piece in the puzzle.....

So, for me, until now, it is Stop, Sigh and Smile....Click!! Share..with you all...



Saturday, February 11, 2023

Jab Deep Jale Aaana--Come, When the lamps light up


First published on December 22, 2017, here it is again, as the evenings are just as beautiful...

and here is the link to the song, so you can hear its melody and simplicity....from the 1970s...songs in those days used to be based on light classical....Jab Deep Jale aana...




Jab Deep Jale Aaana--Come, When the lamps light up, is an old bollywood song, light-classical, I would say.  The song is a call to the beloved, for a rendezvous. In the dark the evening, no one would be able to tell them apart. 

But evenings in Sweden are utterly and sweetly romantic.  Not as in romance, but as in softness. The brightness of summer is harsh, the coziness of winter is simply warm, despite the crispness.  Its easy on the eyes and makes us aware of a longing that we become oblivious to in summer!!



Saturday, January 21, 2023

A Special Post : Two Stories --Same Human Connection

Today I am writing for those who visit this specially.

Those come here to read my updates and those who have followed it for years. As I have mentioned else place on this blog, I have YouTube channel and I have another places where I contribute regularly. 

So, coming here is not as regular. 

But I will never give up this space. 

This blog holds special meaning for me. Not just because this was the first blog I ever created. But for a few other reasons.

1. Those special people who still click on it, on purpose. I know there are many (I get about 200-600 hits a month) who come here for  topic or images.  But then there are others who come for the writing or simply to check up on what have I been upto. So, this post is specially for them, who come to get an update about me, and sometimes email me or leave a comment on the blog. 

Thanks, and please leave comments, it always makes my day. 

2. I have documented my life here in some way for the last 12 years. 

Yes, 12 years. 

This blog does not give a detailed account of my personal life.

Yet, if you read through many of the posts, you will figure out many themes and meanings in my life.

On an average I have about 36-37 posts a year. 

Considering that during this time, I have travelled through 17 brand new countries (not counting those before 2010. The year 2009, which I still need to write about in detail, was something special. I travelled through 13 different countries, on train, bus, boat, and ofcourse planes). 

I have published about 12 professional articles,15 non academic, one short story on amazon, started a youtube channel, working on a larger book length project right now...and released my first 24 minute film last year. I have been India about India about 11 times, to the US 6 times, to Spain 4 times, Germany 3 times, Japan 2 times...so and so forth....

Yet, on an average 36-37 posts a year.

During this time writing emails has gone downhill, although I am one of the few people who still writes emails. 

Most emails, with most people were repetitive.  

Around late in first decade of 2000, people started to put their pictures and thoughts on FaceBook. 

Something, I still do not do.

I share the pictures I take, to give a perspective. Not pictures of me or my family.

Somethings should remain private. My simplistic thinking.

There is a tradition in India of not saying the name of those you love. Especially between married couples. Its a way of protecting that energy. Keeping it sacred. 

Same with images of people. 

But also, a realisation that my pictures should not be imposed on other people's feeds. My pics are not important.  Even if I think they are.

So they remain with me. 

Although to be honest, I have a hard time finding pictures of myself. I am always behind the camera.

A little creativity --and  picture becomes more intriguing rather than a show 


The ones I take of myself are usually on my computer, in Photo Booth. Its like a time lag of 200 photos over 10 years. 

But I choose to write here, because it brings me back the simplicity, when I wrote simply to write, and wrote for a few friends.

And I continue.

Many of the posts here are not saved on my computer. I think they should be. 

I have so many precious incidents documented here.

The past decade has always been difficult with regards to life issues.

Yes Life issues, something that I hardly share on this blog. At least not openly. 

Sometimes, when I return to this blog, I am amazed at how much I have recorded. I could not have written it all in my hand written journals. 

I must admit writing in a journal is different from writing on this blog. I know that this can be accessed by strangers, no matter that it is anonymous. There is always a fear of being found out. And I want to limit some thoughts to my journals. 


There are many ways of adding story to a picture....I love what light and camera angles can do, even with computer's Photo Booth


So, today, on a Saturday, even though I generally post on Friday evenings, I decided to dedicate some time to this blog.

I want to share two incidents from this week. First about food, and second about unplanned conversations that can evoke nostalgia, a strong yet fleeting connection and rejuvenate us because it brings us human connection. 

I have been working in Gothenburg. Love the city. 

But also some days I buy cooked food to save time. And because I am simply exhausted, working between two towns. But more importantly here I have access to so much 'international food'. Even getting nice Chinese or Italian in Karlstad is not easy.

Here in Goteborg, I can get Indian and Greek, and Chinese and Vietnamese ....you name it.

I stay in city centre. Even better, close to metro and buses, and very close to many eateries.

So, this last week I visited an Indian restaurant for a take away twice. I have been having some 'gum' issues.  So have restricted my food to soups, rice and noodles for a few weeks.

Rice and daal, sounded wholesome and warm and healthy.

I got it two days ago on Wednesday. The  yesterday, that is friday, I went again and ordered the same.

The person serving me at the counter insisted I have something else. 

'No try no 81, or 83, they are all vegetarian'.

At some point, he asked me where I was from. He told me the last time he was from India. This time, he told me he was from Nepal and asked if I could speak hindi.

We started chatting in hindi. He insisted that I try something other than what `i ordered.

I have to be careful, and need to have something soft., I said.

'yes,' i assure you 81 channa masala is soft and delicious. he repeated.

Ok, I ordered, and then asked, 'but why do you insist when I am fine with what i had two days ago?'

'Because you have to try other things from our place, because it is good for your mouth and taste to try something new.'

I simply smiled. It was a combination of 'care and pride'. He wanted me to have a good experience, also wanted me to think good of his restaurant.

There's an asian touch. As we call it, Apnapan. The feeling of belonging. 

I smiled, and we talked about a few other things. How he came to this country. He told me he had been here for 5 years. He shared his name. I told him I knew another Kamal *meaning lotus, from Nepal. I told him people usually thought I was from Nepal or Mexico or Spain or Italy, its interesting how I am perceived. 

I asked him I could get a small packet of sweetened aniseed, which you get in Indian restaurants after meals. Its is a digesting and a mouth freshner.

He packed the anise, and two types of chutneys.

Ah, the feeling of familiarity lasted the whole evening. For a short time, on a cold evening, I felt like I was home.

Second Incident.  Three days ago. Wednesday. The first time I went to that restaurant to get rice and daal, I stopped at Kvillefoto (https://kvillefoto.se) to ask if they could get me a few negatives of a few glamour shots, some old family pics etc. (you can watch the video here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=02T6b4NHX7w)

The best part was that without thinking I did my first few minutes of conversation in Swedish.

He said that they did. But today there is no need for a negative because they make a digital image of it and can remove any scratches etc. 

I wanted to ask him about getting a camera for my youtube channel. 

'Oh I know nothing of it' he said. I was surprised. Then he pointed at the long row of cameras behind him and said, 'All these are analogs. These are old cameras. Film is still hard to find, but they are getting more and more demand. Analog is coming back in fashion, people want to see pictures that are not perfect....'

I was listening intently. I talked about my first Pentax and realised that even that was not an analogue. I had forgotten. I never owned an analogue. Maybe the disposals ones.

I have two of my father's cameras. One of them, Minolta, really dear to him. 

So I talked about Minolta, long lenses, and another one that my father gave me, a really old camera.

The man smiled.

Then I told him to watch Sean Tucker's youtube channel.  He said, he already did.

He shared a few pictures, told me about following natural light and showed me various ways I could get some pasteboards if I wished. 

I have been meaning to get pasteboards made of flowers from different countries. 

Then I asked him, if I could interview him about photography for my channel. He agreed.

I was so happy. Only I know how hard it is for me to find time. I have gazillion ideas but to keep it all up is hard.

But still such a soulful conversation, that when I stepped out of the photoshop I had a spring in my walk.

Such power, human connection has.

So, I wanted this to be focus of my very first story of 2023. I hope you will remember and I wish you experience many warm moments like this in the coming year.



























Friday, December 30, 2022

Morning Routine: Morning deserves your attention


The following message was written on January 16, 2021.

Can you believe it?

Never had the time to return. 


And we are in the last two weeks of 2020. It goes fast --although 2020 seemed to have lasted longer. Its 8:30 am in the picture. I love it this time. It's quiet and beautiful. Both dark and bright. May you all be surrounded by warmth and love .....

December 30, 2022

I do not know which image i was going to add, but its been dull and dreary and yet I love Sweden during this time of the year. I am adding a pic from Gothenburg, a city I have been spending time in---for a while now...for the last four months. 



So much is going on...and I have no idea where to begin or what to say. As the year wraps around, the same questions remain, that I had three decades ago. Going through my books I read some old journal entries from 1990-91. Before I went to the US. At the cusp of it. I was in another country at the time. Looking back, did I ever think I will be in so many countries. Have met so many people and yet feel a sense of aloneness --even though there is this joy of having known some really great people?

There are two issues, one is that one has not created their own family, which is always alienating. No matter how much I try to keep up, it is a loosing battle. I used to remember birthdays and anniversaries and send gifts and what not....but slowly...it all starts to slip.  You have stuff to take care of ...and you have only two hands. Then, it gets too much because you have little of your support system.

So being on your own in different countries has you spread too thin and in too many places.  

The other thing is that I have met some of the nicest people. I heard from my friend ST in the US, who was my neighbour at Penn State via a phone message. Then I spoke with my friend EDD in Spain, whom I met at  Penn State --while i was learning Spanish. In some ways, the two things are not connected. Meaning learning spanish and knowing her because she was not my teacher. But we met at the busstop at Penn State, almost every few days, started talking and then started writing. I had a conference in France and I called her to ask to come visit me. Instead she said, no you visit me. That was 2005. She visited me in Fiji in 2006.  And we have kept in touch. Me through four countries since we met. She through a marriage and raising two children and hopping towns for jobs, getting selected for a government job etc.

We talked like school girls only with grown up problems :)

Did I ever think I would have a friend from Spain or one from the US? Or many from the US and some from Germany and from Greece and Cyprus and Brazil and New Zealand and Morroco and Israel?

I had wanted pen pals....but it never materialised. I finally got my real vänner---real friends. 

There is so much goodness.....that I think many lifetimes will be difficult to explain the gratitude I feel.

Yet, a kind of exhaustion at having travelled and gathered little Moss. 

I did not share here but I had a job in the United Kingdom for a year. I will write about it at some point. Among other things that did not work, I missed Sweden to my core. When I returned at easter to take care of a few things I realised how much this felt like home. Even though I do not feel grounded anywhere. 

So as the year turns...and I gather strength again to work on projects and doing new things....I must recognise that life is not as simple as we thought when we were children. We can get what we want and yet feel a kind of angst. A displacement. It can happen even if you stay at the same place...you know, even it is A WONDERFUL LIFE....

So for now, I want to thank all those who have touched my life, be grateful for all the abundance and also be grateful for all that I want...

I try to share something of use towards the end of the year. Here is a link to one of my favorite channels. Pick Up Limes.

Here the creator shares her morning routine.  If for nothing else, it is a peaceful watch. May you have a calm, productive and beautiful year.  The kind that makes you aware that despite all the things that have not happened yet, or despite your disappointments at life, you have still had a great life...at least a few of your dreams have come alive...be grateful and be joyous...

Gott Nytt Âr, Happy New year and here is the link...




https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cx_veZygQkU

Friday, October 14, 2022

Discovery: The Destination was not Distant

So, this may also be a post without any picture. Maybe I will add pictures later.

I do not want to leave this blog. But the last few weeks have made it difficult to return here. As I shared, I am working between two towns. So leave on Monday morning and return home on Thursday evening. 

As a result, Fridays are hectic because I am catching up with work etc. 

The last three weeks I would realise usually on a Monday that I did not post anything. Besides, as autumn approaches I have been working on clearing the leaves and working in the garden. After years I planted some flowers.  They needed to be planted before the first frost otherwise, the ground is too tough and hard. 

But the part about discovery is this, that I am in a city where i have spent time before. Twice....to take a class.  

I have stayed here for sometime .....found an Indian grocery store and then lost my ways again.

Well, actually it was 3 years ago that I was there. So this time I felt lost. I am working in a completely different part of the city. Or am I?

I had to get my bus card topped up and I went to Pressbyran, sort of like 7/11.

The place looked familiar and I started wandering around to see ....why it looked familiar.  Shops roads etc. After about an hour of walking, I found the road to that Indian store. What a delight. I needed cumin and other spices.

That was last week. 

But yesterday I walked out to take a short walk when it looked like I saw something else that was familiar. An eatery.  

Why did it look familiar.  I walked up close, say about 200 metres from where I am living and would you know it...it was the lane to the same grocery store.

I kept thinking that this is a message from the universe. Destination of my life is closer than I think.

Or something like that.

But there is something about this discovery. It feels like a treasure.

Been smiling for no reason since...as if I have found a diamond mine.

Its not just groceries but actually feeling that sometimes our destinations are closer than we know, the distances are in our minds.


















Saturday, September 24, 2022

If you want to be happy

First published on May 28, 2021....publishing here again, since last 2 weeks have been crazy.  You should know that i have not abandoned this blog...I will return...


This is a very popular image from the Bhagvad Gita. The song of God.  When a warrior is sad that he is has to go against his cousins, who have cheated him.  Krishna's message, which is still not completely understood by humanity is: Love and peace are all great, but in the face of evil, to choose not to fight --is not 'warrior like'. However, before we choose war, we must ask and clarify whether or not we are fighting a just war. We are constantly at war with ourselves--tortured, wanting peace from souls who many not be that developed or care about us.  But the question is, 'Can we truly care for ourselves?" Then we have no need for approval or other people's care.  Even though we can have interdependent relationships, we know that we never arrive anywhere until we learn to be self-reliant. 






For this week, I will just direct you to someone else' writing.


Jessica Wildfire.


If You Want to Be Happy, Try Getting Over Yourself

Everything you want involves people.


------

She says" Let go of your tortured past
The ones who injured us have already forgotten about it. This includes all of our exes, bad friends, terrible bosses, and judgmental relatives. Some of us waste our lives fantasizing about an apology."


I read this article a long time back and reminded myself to return to it --to read and bring some sanity to myself on 'lost days'.  Today when I did, I knew I had to share it with you all.  Will returns with good material soon. Maybe I have to take a break for one week, please bear with me.   I may not post anything next week, but will return the week after. 


Friday, September 2, 2022

Quick Update

Folks, I know I have been away. Much is going on, I will return and with pics and some information. 

But as I said, I am managing a youtube channel, and a new blog, some other writing, some creative writing, some professional writing a PhD student, a new job...so bear with me...

Filling it under musings...hardly a musing, just an update, as it says...



Sunday, August 7, 2022

Winding Road & Wild Companions

Did I write this nearly a decade ago?

First published on February 9, 2013 shortly after my month long stay in Bhutan.....the trip I had made to find a direction. I was lost. I had a job, a regular job that people would be envious of.  I craved for expression. Writing that touched the soul, not just copy, pasted and recreated from other people's work...often call research ...especially in humanities....

I have gotten better both at academic work and have published more creative work, so in an essence a balancing act has been achieved. 

I still look for direction. But one thing I have found is that most people are looking for direction. Humanity knew it, so it created things like family, and marriage and rearing children.  It is an automatic way of providing a direction, while having some organic fun along the way!!

It is special day...Sunday, in August, and I am going to go for a walk...with an open heart and mind....

May be some new messages will be air dropped by invisible forces!

PS: I am making up for this past friday that I missed....







This was my walking path for a few weeks, right behind the hotel.  The country is at a high altitude. The hotel where I stayed was even higher.  This path that you see goes a step further.  People lived up here.  Construction in several places is also a sign of rapid development in Bhutan.  




This was my view for nearly a month. I would walk down the hill towards the town and on the way, stop several times to simply stare at the silence.  Often I would walk back with grateful smile on my lips. Bhutan had been a dream since I was a child. And especially since I knew that their Prime Minister also went to Penn State!! Yoohooo!!






My wild but compassionate companions: October 13, 2012


Paro, Bhutan, October 13, 2012

I had meant for this post to follow direclty the winding road around this wanton world. 

I get a daily email from 'dailyom'.  They are usually spiritual messages that either shed light on the things we tend to ignore or provide us with new lenses to look at things. I do not have the time to read them all.  So I get them on two different email accounts, and hardly ever delete them before at least browsing through them.

On this day, I got a message that directed us to look for messages from Animals in nature.  Messengers in Direction. 

Animals in nature always have a message for us, start noticing what animals show up in your life and when.  

I read it, looked around, found some bugs, and discarded the idea.  

Like always I was contemplating much at the time when I was trying to shun all thought.

When I went for my little promenade (walk) that evening, I saw two dogs tag along.  I love 'beings' so there is no particular aversion to animals, but because of experience I am wary of them. They are animals. And not always rational.  Just like us human beings, only with less accountability.

So I kept to one side and let the dogs go ahead of me. Then I thought I should slow down to increase the distance between them and I.  So, I slowed down and finally stopped for a few seconds.

Only to realize that both of them would stop only a bit ahead of me.  Then wait, until I started moving again. I did this at least three of four times. And they would stop each time.  I could not stop smiling.

It was a crazy evening, and for a short while I had contemplated solitude, its advantages and sort of 'disadvantages', but these 'animals in nature' had come, of their own accord, to keep me company.   I got close to one of them and petted it. The dog was dirty, unkempt, and smelled bad. But I could not ignore that they had formed a connection on their own with me.  That they had given me attention, without me giving them anything. 

What message were they bringing me?

May be that, sometimes too much inward thinking can make us overlook those who notice us and care for us.  So, on the days when all is not going well, may be we should recognize that we do have companions.  Even when we do not appreciate them.  

That we have many companions on our path.  Each for his/her own reason, for his/own time, with a specific rhyme and reason.  May be, no particular message except to recognize that we share this experience with numerous others.

When we came down the hill, I bought some crackers from the tuck shop for the dogs.  One of them I noticed was a 'she'.  She showed a completely different side of herself when I fed them the crackers.  She was ferocious and scared the other dogs away.  Even I was scared of her then.  But because I had seen her gentle side only a few minutes ago, I had to come up with various other reasons to understand her.

May be she had been treated badly, may be she always had to fight for food.  May be she was saving it for her children (pups)?

What message was she bringing me?  

That we cannot make conclusions on knowing people partially.  But more importantly, that we always know people partially.  

So, this winding roads our life path, we must never take our understanding of others too seriously.  That our companions -often- carry within themselves both the compassionate and the wild simultaneously.......

As I strolled back to my room, I tried to hold the image of this neglected dog, who not only kept me company without asking, but stopped every few minutes --so I could catch up. 

We all have this silly, loving and wild companions on the winding roads of our life!!  I wish you many kind ones!