Now That's a Happy Diwali!

I posted this only about 2 weeks ago.  But here I am repeating this story. I have interacted with F twice since this incident.  Today I told him I wrote about him.  I wanted to take his picture, since he was wearing a cute Santa band on his head. He wrinkled his nose that he did not mind me using his name or the story, but did not like his pictures taken. That's quite ok.  

It still made my day.  I wanted him to know how much his kindness had helped me.

So, here is the story again....about How Good the People Can be!

I have been meaning to write that story, that I promised you all.  So here comes.

It was Diwali.  Must have been 4th of November.   I had been busy all week and had no time to plan.  For all those who do not know Diwali is the biggest Hindu festival, comes on the darkest night of the year.  Its a new moon, so the skies are dark.  But according to the legend, both our dear Lord Ramachandra along with his wife and younger brother are returning home after an exile of 14 years.   They return on pushpak vimaan (look it up).  Pushpak Vimaan, is a flying object, open from all sides and works on 'will of the captain'.  You know, like thousands of years later, Obi Wan Kanobi tells Luke, 'let go Luke' and runs the flying vehicle on instinct?

Coming back to Diwali at my end....it was slightly sad for I had no time to cook  or clean, which is important for this occasion. I did boil some rice, hoping turn it into rice pudding, with raisins and cardamom and cashews and saffron....

Other than Prabhu Ram, we also get a visit by Goddess Lakshmi.  She visits only the houses that have been cleaned and decorated.  Goddess Lakshmi is the goddess of fortune.  We keep the house lit the entire night.  A small oil lamp is kept in every room.  One big lamp with ghee as  the fuel is kept in the kitchen and one another one with ghee is used to make Kajal/Kohl for our eyes.  More on that later.

The flowers must have been given with such goodwill that they lasted 2 weeks. A very long time, considering dryness of Karlstad and coldness of Swedish winters. 

At the end of the day, after grading/marking and some other work, I was exhausted and feeling sad for all the Diwalis I have spent away from home. What a strange life this is :( 

I knew I needed flowers. I have not bought flowers in months. Since September winter started to show its claws pretty fast.  There has hardly been any Sun and everything is going to sleep.  So I went to COOP, the closest grocery store where I have been shopping since I came.  It took me some time to start going to ICA--which is about 15 minutes walk away. 

I got the candles, and went about the store looking for flowers.  But there were none.  Not even the wilted ones. Only flower pots and some potted plants. 

Disappointed I decided to pay for the candles and leave.  At the checkout counter was F.  I have known him almost as long as I have been in Sweden.  His parents came from Hungary.  At one point, may be years and years ago, he told me that his sister was my first student.  She was in the first undergraduate class I ever taught. Which means it was the second semester of my first year of teaching. I taught only MA students in the first year.

Her name is V, and she is now married with a child.  All this time, I keep getting her updates from him, as shared where she works, when she was pregnant, and how old the child is.  Like any proud uncle he shares his nephews pictures and videos with me, as I am paying for the groceries I have bought. We discuss life at the counter, sometimes he helps me find things in the store.  So, nearly a decade of interaction.  I know his name and he always smiles when we see each other.  When you live in a place, a familiarity sets in, like a warm blanket.  He is one such face, who I mostly meet at the grocery store, because he works there and I shop there. 

So, this evening, when he was at the counter again as I was ready to pay I asked him, (btw, we mostly talk in english, not sure why.  I speak to others in Swedish).

'F, do you have flowers?"

"We should."

"I looked, but there are none."

"In the corner?" He asked pointing towards the potted plants. 

"None"

He looked confused and said, we just did.  They were wilting. Maybe we put them away to throw them out. 

"Well, I could use even the wilted ones.  I need them. Its a festival today, and I want to offer a few flowers. I can pay half or a certain amount of the original price. Or even full. I don't care. I just need some flowers.  It's too late and too dark to walk to ICA."

"Wait let me see"

He ran in quickly and came out with not-so-bad red roses.  

"Here" he handed those to me.  I had already paid, so I started to return to the other side of the cash register.

"No,  you don't need to pay".

I was surprised and insisted that I must. 

"No,  no need."

"Its two bouquets'

For the readers, flowers in Sweden are very expensive.  Especially in autumn and winter.  So, a bouquet that size could be 6-10 dollars.  He was giving me two.

"No, enjoy your festival."

"Then I must buy something else from the store, to contribute"

"No", he insisted waved his hand and said, again, 'have a nice festival".

I sighed and smiled.  The goodness of people of this world is everywhere. In these simplicities.  That exchange was based on having known each other for a while, a care, a concern a trust.

I walked home thinking, "Now that is a Happy Diwali"

I came home and despite my tiredness cooked kheer (rice pudding)--and made sure to save some for F.

The day after I walked to the store, with a bowl of Kheer, a packet of sparklers, and a thankyou note.  He was not there that day. I asked another woman working there to save it for him in the refrigerator. 

I wanted to make sure, he had a happy diwali too.  Possibly his first one!!

Thanks Universe for bring these 'simply beautiful' incidents my way. 

Happy Diwali!

And here is what I wrote for him in the thankyou note!

Thanks Fln,

 

You did not have to.  But you did, out of kindness. And guess what, the flowers have lasted longer than all the fresh flowers I have bought.  Maybe because they came with good wishes. Thanks for making my festival bright, not just with the flowers but also with your kindness.  

 

The longer living flowers—even though they were ready to be rejected –show how kindness can infuse ‘life’!  even when there is no hope. 

 

This is some rice pudding. Hope you will like it.  Ingredients.  Rice, milk, cardamom, sugar, raisins and nuts.  Hope you like it.

Glad Diwali (festival of lights). 

Tusen tack,

Ch

 

We also enjoy fireworks that day so enjoy 

Amazing Art and Our Ancestors: The Song that Stones Sang

First published on September 29, 2019.  Here it is again.  As some of you know I premiered my first film this past weekend.  It was a great experience. I am a very small fish in a massive ocean of media content.  But creation itself is a reward. And yes, we still need viewers.  To feel loved, we must know the gaze of the lover.  We must.  But look around, even if you do not live in your country of the place where you were born.  Look around at the buildings and stones and trees and leaves. Ask them to share their stories.  I am sure, they will sing symphonies!!

All you have to do is listen!

_______________________________________________

India has always fascinated me.  Always. As a child, I might have been curious about other countries, but I never wanted to leave India. I wanted to serve it, and see every nook and corner of the country.  Sure everyone can feel this about their country---but India is unique on so many levels. Her linguistic, religious, ethnic and climate diversity is unmatched.  I learnt from someone a few years ago that it has over 15 climate zones. 

We get the maximum rainfall in the world (Cherapunji), we have a massive dessert (Thar) and we have can boast not only of snow capped mountains but the tallest mountain in the world (Mt. Everest).  

And then we have the Kanya Kumari, the tip of the country where you see bodies of water become one. You stand there and except a small piece of land behind you,  all you see is water ahead and around you. ---If you face the tip of India and are guarded by Vivekananda rocks with its massive temple on your back--you stare into the vastness--full of hope.  You get a chance to contemplate your own smallness. Hopefully we return from that experience with a humility. 

It could take lifetimes to see the country.  I had no plans of leaving it.

But then I did. People think I complain too much about leaving it.  But I have been displaced since I left it.

I have made some amazing friends.  Had a truly adventurous life.  So many experiences that I can hardly document them. 

And I so I have often wondered about what if I had never left, would I be any happier?

I will never know.

But when I see these images and they are plenty these days --what with special archaeological finds--I always wonder if I had studied indology, would I be happier.  I have often thought Physics or medicine is something that would have made me happy.


But behind it all I wanted to tell stories.  Always.  And when I look at this image--I think of that one movie--an old one, whose title sums it all--'The song that stones sang' (Geet Gaya Pathron Nein)--its truly the stories that these stones tell.

A connection to the land of your birth is a connection to your ancestors. Something, no matter how much you love other countries, cannot be bought or created.  Or least not in one or two or three generations. 

Art is another form of connecting us to our ancestors.  Art tells me the story of myself. 

Indecisive: Decision Making Should be taught in Schools

Changing colors always remind me of our duty to reflect ton our lives. 

Hello Readers.  

I did not mean to miss last week and neither this one. I have been  a bit under the weather. 

Was going to repost some old posts. But have two very, very interesting stories to share.

And will return with those.   No time yet to write. 

Have much work and not been well.  Really busy with much work to do. Finances to balance and to think about how to manage my future.  Yes, those are things I don't share here, simply because it does not help. But wanted so mention them, as we ALL deal with them. 

But what I do want to say is that those are important.  

And we should teach the young to plan their lives. I will share some resources as I go along. Starting a youtube series to help the young develop an understanding of being a student and learning to navigate their careers. Then writing another blog, where I want to record stories from my relatives and friends. Stories that have been calling me for a while.  

Even now, I was going through the blog to repost an old post, When after 30 minutes of trying find which post fits better at this time of the year, I gave up and decided to come clean. 

I have been indecisive, because time seems short for all that I want to do. 

And several aspects of life are not settled and I wonder why? Is it because I forgot myself? Is it because I was never trained to take care of myself? I was raised with the idea that I needed to be honest, caring, self-sacrificing and good in studies and a hard worker. The rest of the things will take care of themselves. But do they? Just like in job, and studies, in life we need to learn to dedicate time to various aspects of life.

If I were to follow Vedic astrology then we have 12 houses.  And they all represent various aspects, enjoyment of owning a home, having children, a successful relationship, name and fame earned honestly in society, education, knowledge and even enlightenment.  Why are we asked only to focus on how to make a living and being independent when the whole point of life is to learn interdependence? After all that is how nature is. Interdependent. Plants on water, children on parents, older people on the young, siblings on each other. 

Most of us in India, where our parents took care of so much, including paying for our education and weddings and deciding who we will marry were not asked to focus on anything but getting good grades and good education.  We grew up with that idea. But after years of struggle and much loss of time, those of us who dared to live a life not so ordinary realised that we still lived in some parameters set out for us.  We hoped that even though we were living far away from our culture that our integrity alone was good enough to take care of everything.

But, I learnt too late that strategy is important. Yes, Karma counts.  You cannot get somethings in life and you will always have some things, and your happiness will be measured or immeasurable depending on certain aspects of your karma. But still if you are awake you can chart a life to reckon with...or close...

So been thinking about all this. 

I am not giving up on this blog.  But sort of reorganising some of my material. My thoughts and my way of being. 

You all will be informed when major decisions are taken. At some point, I will write more details, but for now, just that this blog and its readers mean so much to me. I use this space to clear my head, share my ideas, thank and be in gratitude to the universe and you all, the readers. It brings me hope and joy. I hope reading this brings you some joy as well.

I will return soon, with the stories.