Sade Teen Kahaniyan (Three-and-Half Stories)

This following story was first published on May 1, 2013.  I am re-publishing this…..for more than one reason.  But one of them being, I ran into one of the people mentioned in the story last week….

When I first arrived here, this Photo was my landmark. I oriented myself around this picture, so I where I was on the campus.  Look closed or in an enlarged version--it is a semi-3-D version of "Moose cleaning".  In addition, it gives an idea of how big a moose is.  I have still not seen it in Sweden, but hear that drivers have to be wary of them in the country, just like in the US drivers are wary of deers. 

The following three and a half stories were a reminder to me, that despite frustration, despite anger, despite wanting to fit into a mould that I will not give more than I receive---that some how I am lucky to have maintained....a sense of love and simplicity--a way of holding on to my glasses that show me the world's potential rather than harp on how it does not work!! (something critical cultural scholars have mastered)--

I was reminded a few times in the last month that a caring heart still matters....that without it, our world will become brittle and crumble into pieces----it is caring and love that holds it.  Everyday, despite our work and jobs, it is a connection that we seek...

Via love, work, friendships, family, politics, ---all we seek and can give is that four letter word that starts with 'L"

Three and a half Stories!

So, at the end of March we were wrapping up the first section of our spring classes.  The second section started a weekend later. I gave my end of the semester speech and instructions for turning in the assignments.

The class dealt with change in technology and its impact on culture.  We talked much about theory, but as was the case, I always talked about several issues that the young deal with.

We have separated education, learning and character building.  In olden days, an educated person was a person of character, and so it was considered prestigious to deal/interact with them.  Today, we can hardly say that, or else we won't have major business scandals.  


I could see the light in the eyes of these students change as I talked about technology, culture, and more importantly our responsibility.

So, at the end I saw three erasmus exchange students hanging around the classroom.  

Even my heart was not ready to let them go.  I could feel that there was something missing, that something called for completion.

Finally, I spread my arms.

They came running to give me a hug.  That is what they were waiting for. And in many ways I was as well would not have felt right without that hug.  The students were from Latvia, Poland and Spain.  

When I spread my arms, the beautiful Latvian girl screamed 'Yes!!"

And my heart nodded!!

***********************************

Its a trend now not to have landlines.  And it makes sense.  They cost much and we hardly use them. I still keep them for old times sake, but I also consider them reliable.  May be in an old fashioned way....but I consider them reliable. 

But I also know that calling from landline to cell phone and vice versa is expensive.  So, I get all my personal calls on cell phone.

The land line is saved for telemarketers, and to be used in forms that ask me for a 'home-phone.'

Occasionally my family might call me on the landline, when my cell phone is buried under a pillow, or my Swedish Mom calls me-when she cannot get a hold of me on my cell phone. 

But this one friday, when my landline rang -I picked up the phone, just like that. 

"He asked for me.

"Ao, men jag kan inte forstad mycket svenska"(But I do not understand much Swedish".  

"Okej, we can talk in english then"

Sure

I am selling a lottery....

Before he could finish, I said, "Wait if it is a monthly thing, I do not want it, because then just canceling it takes energy."

"Well, we have deals going on now...you could win a lot of money"

Sure, but not interested, all this takes time, and that is the thing I have least of.

Where are you from?

Grew up in India.

Aww...." he started to tell me how his girl friend spent some time there and now both of them are planning to return there...I listened carefully to the excitement in his voice.  

Touched to the core, I said,"Really nice!!"

As we were about to hang up, he said, "Wait, I do have to ask you one question since you picked up the phone..."

"Oh, shoot...." I thought what now...

"I have to ask you, if were to win a million kronor what would you do with it?"

Ahhh....I sat down.

"Oh, so much, you have no idea. I want to start my own school for youngsters, I want to create a new kind of bilingual children's magazine, but on a larger scale, I want to creat something for street children..."

There was silence on the other end.

"Hello....??"

"Yeah, I am listening" he paused, "that is so nice.  This is the nicest response I have received in all my talks today."

I was smiling on this side.

Before he hung up, he said, "Do check out our lotteries in the shop, and I do hope you get the money to do all of that, and .." he paused again, "really, this was the nicest answer I got all day."

*****************************************

I had little time to file an application, I needed to talk someone who was taking care of it.  Her name was Farah R. I recognized instantly that the lady is not Swedish.  But when I got there she spoke better swedish than english.

Obviously, she had lived in sweden for 30 years.  But there is a huge Iranian diaspora in Sweden. 

Meena Kumari, a famous Indian actress in a frame being sold at Indiska -- a shop that sells clothes, draperies and accessories from India. 

I met Farah on Nawroz--new day--the beginning of spring --a festival celebration with bonfires, and singing and dancing around the fire.  I had attended it once, but have been too busy since to go.

'So, what are you going to do today?"

"Oh my sons are coming home, both of them are doctors and live away in the city, but today they are coming home."

And as she was saying this one of her sons called.

She quickly switched to Persian, a heart warming language.   

"Do you miss Iran?"

"Well, it is not my country anymore, Iran of my childhood does not exist"

"I understand", I said.

I have heard that from many people.  
We talked about spirituality, religion, family and home.  The she said something that struck me as the solid truth--only if we want to follow.

"I dont care if I believe in God or religion, I believe in three things that existed before Iran became Islamic--right speech, right thinking, and right deeds. If one has done this, then one has lived right."

Her words echoed the truth of any religion, but especially asian religions.  

All this time as she was talking, there was not a moment when she stopped smiling.  I loved looking at her childlike face.

As I was leaving, she gave me a hug and said, "Hej, call me sometime and we can have fika sometime"

I left her office with some work done, but a light heart, with renewed faith that---all we want from our lives is that "connection--that resting of the spirit---that intertwining of our hearts to feel alive."

**********************************************
And now the last one, a very short story.  Most of my readers know, many of my friends know....how hard it is for me to understand where I am in life. I question much!  Get frustrated, angry and sad, that my integrity and hard work is not enough.  That a strategy is required in this world.  And yet, when I sit down, there is a fountain of joy that springs from within me.  

But there have been times when I have asked if that has dried out....

So, when the following incident happened....I had to say---nope it is eternal....

While paying at the grocery store the lady at the counter asked me something in Swedish.  I asked her to repeat since I understood only a few words.

She said it a bit loud this time...leaning towards me

"är du alltid här lycklig?"  I understood something but could not believe if that is what I heard. 

Still not sure, I asked her to repeat. 

This time she said it in english.

Are you always this happy? 

I chuckled--smiled --and gave a coy look.  But a winning smile lingered in my heart, much much longer!!

Zen, Perfection and Art!!

Maximizing the space: A family on a moped (is it a  moped?)

Hoian, Vietnam, 2009

No creature ever comes short of its own completeness

Whereever it stands, it does not fail

to cover the ground

-----Einei Dogen (in Zen of Creativity, page 166)

Zen, and by extension the Zen aesthetic, shows us that all things are perfect and complete, just as they are.  Nothing is lacking. In trying to realize our true nature, we rub against the same paradox: We don't know that we already are what we are trying to become.  In Zen, we say that each one of us is already a buddha, a thoroughly enlightened being. It's the same with art.  Each one of us is already an artist, whether we realize it or not.  In fact, it doesn't matter whether we realize it ---this truth of perfection is still there.  Engaging the creative process is a way of getting in touch with this truth, and so let it function in all areas of our lives.

                                                           The Zen of Creativity, John Daido Loori, Pg 166

Swing'N Snow

Two young 'Lindy Hop' lovers, give the 'wannabes' a demonstration!!

Scandinavia gets a bad name ….at least for its weather.  I won't deny that these long winters and extreme darkness, even though they last for 6 months and 3 months respectively can be really detrimental to your mental health.  But this post is about what people do in countries where it is very cold, very dark and well, very quiet.

The streets can be deserted, although they are not always----

My experience says that people find a way to thrive and not just live!!  A way to celebrate!  There is no country where people have not come up with ways of relaxing and celebration.  And yet, I think celebrating alone is not as much fun (although I still think traveling alone is a must, it is like a pilgrimage.  I have never asked anyone to travel with me.  I enjoy navigating and not knowing when I arrive in places). 

So, there are festivals and there are clubs, and there are celebrations and traditions.  On my way to the gym, about a month ago, I found a young couple, crisply dressed…were dancing away right in front of one of the University's cafe'. 

'Is that a dance club?" I asked.

'Yes' the delightful young woman gave me the paper with all the info on it.

'I will show up for sure,' I said, knowing fully well that winters prevent you from being that adventurous.

And when the day came, I was sort of unsure. Only a colleague said that he and his gal were going too. Ok then, I thought it would be nice to have some people I know there.

Regardless, I showed up…..

And 'Vad Kul'! What fun!!

The dance form they practice was 'Swing', my favorite, even to watch. But more specifically it was Lindy Hop, the most popular form of Swing dance.

Swing dance, according to wikipedia, "'is most commonly known as a group of dances that developed with the swing style of jazz music in the 1920s-1950s, although the earliest of these dances predate "swing era" music.'

And again according to wiki, 'The best known of these dances is the Lindy Hop, a popular partner dance that originated in Harlem in 1927 and is still danced today. Lindy was a fusion of many dances that preceded it or were popular during its development but is mainly based on jazz, tap, breakaway and Charleston.'

Remember one thing, the most soulful music and dancing in the US often came from African American communities. Not many people, unless they study this, know that Elvis was singing 'African' music and that is why was not appreciated in the beginning. However, Elvis, not only popularized it in the US, but internationalized that local form of singing and dancing, that is native to the southern USA.

However, that also led to some music and dancing that then developed strictly in the white/caucasian community, such as the Foxtrot and the Balboa.

Historically, the term Swing applied with no connection to the Swing era, or its Swing music. It is also important to note that every major city had their own way to dance, based on regional roots, and influences.

There is something beautiful about these partner dances. Dance is normally a collective form. In India, there are six classical dances alone and numerous folk dances. Folk dances are meant for the folk to immerse themselves in the spirit of their land, as they tell the stories of their own culture, generation after generation. The classical dances are often performed alone, although there is a tradition of collective performances. One major difference between classical and folk dances in India is that like all the highest forms of art, classical dances are devoted to Gods and spirituality. They require years of dedication, and study. Folk dances, of which bollywood-dancing is the newest amalgam, do not require that as much effort. Although some can be very complicated individual steps, but most require a coordination, between two or more people. Which provides another element in 'dance', that actually lends to it being a spiritual experience.

As I always say, India is a civilization, so it is has developed every aspect of life to the hilt. So we have classical dances dedicated completely to the development of the spiritual, or the fun folk dances, dedicated to the collective. Here are a few examples of Bhangra, the most popular of all Indian folk dances comes from the northern state of Punjab. Today Bhangra is played at dance clubs around the world, and has several 'mixed versions'. Following are a few links for you to check it out….

A sampler:

An example from National Bhangra Competition in the US (2010). Note how they weave, Michael Jackson in there….the part where Michael Jackson comes in states, 'we gotta do,what we gotta do, since we cannot dance' ( I don't think it was intentional)

Here is another example of the same group, with different formations...

Here you can see Bhangra as a part of a long-song, in a full length feature film, based on a love story between a Canadian Indian girl, and a Punjabi boy. Please note that Bhangra is usually associated with the male version of the dancing. When women dance in groups its called, 'Gidda'. The lyrics of these songs are all popular and often sung at weddings, by relatives and friends of the bride and groom. Most of them talk about life in the village, teasing between men and women, complaining about in-laws etc.

Jee Aaya Nu, the title of the film is a punjabi expression that literally means, 'I give my heart to those who come to my home'--an expression in praise of guests.

And one example of gypsy dance from the desert people of India--Notice how the young boy's singing and girl's lively dancing bring life to the desert where nothing can grow, but may be love….and hope.

Each of India's dance can require a blog post. Depending on time, I might devote space to that ---sometime.

If you grow up with Bollywood around you, you have seen it all at some point. Here is an example of 'Swing' and few other things, in a Bollywood Movie from the late 1980s, Meri Jung …Bol Baby Bol--talk Baby talk!!

Back to the partner dances in the west. Swing, Ballroom, Waltz, Foxtrot, Rock'n Roll, and of course let us not forget what the Latin world's given us--the most sensual of all dances--Tango.----

Partner dances were often fun, energetic and celebrated the interplay of male female energy. All of them developed when even in the west the sexes did not interact with each other that much and therefore 'dance' became an initiation into that interaction. 

And here was I standing in a small town in Sweden…..witnessing this beautiful tapping and hopping, and jumping and smiling ---as it snowed outside…..gently.

I ran into two other people there, one of them an old student.

I had to leave early, so i took my leave. But even then I stood outside watching the snow fall on me slowly as it created an interesting pattern on my black wool coat….I watched the cars drive by, the blinking vehicle lights, and turned around to the faint music that I could still hear, the lively figures I could see glide, and jump and skip on the floor…..

And could not but help and smile…how all over the world, we have created these ways of breaking the monotony, getting together, celebrating for no reason, so much so that yearly celebrations for no reason other than to break monotony has created traditions…..and all we can remember about them is that 'we must celebrate'…..

I knew, I must return to this group, whenever I can to remind myself of the undying, hopeful spirit for celebration and joy that resides in all of us!!

Yes, even in Scandinavia!!

Even though I was standing in the snow, the image of people having fun kept me warm….

Let there be Light

Lantern Festival, China Town Singapore, September 2012

Let there be Light: Lantern Festival, China Town Singapore, September 2012

All the lanterns are made of paper and silk.  A country as small as Singapore packs in celebrations of all the major religions and ethnicities that inhabit the 4 million people country!!  

Celebrations is the best synonym for 'light'!!

LjusTid (Light Time): Pondering and Practice

A Copenhagen Sunset: April 2013

I do not know if this is the correct formation of the words.  Since Swedish is based on bringing two words together.  However, sometimes if the right words are not put together, they can have a completely different meaning…..

But it is light--time, now in Scandinavia…and so Ljus-Tid!!

The light is returning.  And for me, it is just as sad as when it is leaving.  We get used to the coziness of the darkness---there are candles everywhere even during the day.  And there is a quietness to mornings ---even after we can call them 'mornings.'

I am sorry I have not been able to write. As always I have a  million half written blogs, but I need to look at them at least a few times to start over again.  

My time since August has been very very stressful.

And so, instead of regular emails, I have started list servs. Where I send out a fun activity to friends for every week  (from the course The Best Year of Your Life---Last year it was a whole course on 'Spirituality of Relationships' and here relationships meaning any…..Friends had appreciated it so much that started another email list, that is a fun, thoughtful activity every week…..

That is my way of keeping in touch….as I am increasingly dropping emailing on a regular basis.  Even though, sometimes there is a gap of 3 weeks or more between the emails.

The last year my resolution was to reduce emailing--and stopping the clutter in my life.  Much got organized in 2012.  Also a year of great travel.

Some other things in 2013….but 2014..onward, a reevaluation of my friendships and relationships.

The good thing is that I always have people wanting to spend time with me. No matter which country I am in.

The reality is that time does not allow that.  But more importantly a realization is to focus on the relationships that will last time, the ones that are both sided, and the ones that nurture.

This morning I was just thinking--that I am one of the those lucky ones, who has friendships and relationships from every part of my life….still in touch with those I was in kindergarten with, those in high school, those in undergraduate, graduate schools, all the countries I have lived in….that is a great feat….

But, until now, much of the relationships have also been a result of my keeping in touch on a regular basis.  Except my friends from home, and several European friends.

This year, is truly a year to see everything in light.  Four of my students from Sweden have become like a family.  The best thing is that we are all on different continents…and have been for the last 2-3 years….Yet we connect at least once a month.  

These kids are much younger, but we connect to talk about life and philosophy…..--

That philosophy---the light---that is going to be my guiding light this year.  And this year is also going to be a year of balancing between 'pondering and practice'.

I woke up this morning with a resolution that this year…..has to see much more commitment ----on certain areas of my life.

And sort out wheat from chaff.  But the trick is to do it with love and grace.

Working on it---

I wish you all a new beginning…..a resolute heart…that recognizes love in everything that surrounds us….

May the light of the season, lead your thoughts and decision making!!