Swedish Sweetness!!

A shopping plaza from a roadside bench at 11 pm! May, Sweden 2014

A shot of newly stolen Lupins from the roadside, with shopping plaza as the background. May, Sweden 2014

The above two pictures were taken around the shopping plaza, very much designed like the American  shopping plazas, at 11 pm. June, 2014

Two of my students showed up....the table looks much richer than it was, I think it was the love that made everything look bigger and larger, June, 2014

One of the things that I have talked about ever since I came to Sweden is the kindness. I have heard so many stories about Swedes not being warm people, but I have found that to be the opposite. I have been told that that may be because I work at a University.  

Well, I do not mind.  If that be the reason that I feel a sense of community, a feeling of camaraderie with my colleagues, so be it.

I have had a few incidents here that have made me feel so cared for.  More than any other country I have ever lived in, with the exception of India.  The Pacific and Africa were great too, but what is different here is that, one, I get assistance from both strangers and those known to me. Second, this friendship and connection happened quite early on.  Thirdly, and more importantly, that it I never asked for help --even in the beginning and yet people came to help  me. And lastly, that in all these years I am still I touch with those who left the country nearly three years ago, on a regular basis--both students and some colleagues, which is an indication of depth of relationships. 

In the last four years in the country,  I have had so many experiences where I feel 'seen', that sometimes I wonder, why do I think I ever want to leave.  Not to mention that I have come to love its extreme weather.  While winters are hard and depressing, the long summer days are a great compensation.  

Starting the very first semester I was invited to so many parties and to so many of my friends and colleagues homes that I could not believe it was the same Sweden that I had heard so much about----mainly its coldness.  But all I felt was the warmth.

From, the very first friend I made, the very first week, who invited me to a party, where I ended up connecting with colleagues from work..even before I started working with them--to people I met a year or two after I moved here, I could feel a connection, a warmth.    In fact, I met a woman on the plane when I first moved to Sweden who took my email and contacted me right away....so my stay here started on a good note. 

My colleague Dan has helped me more times than I can count....all without my asking. I never had to ask and he came always with advice and sometimes with plants and cantrells (a special yellow mushroom).  

So, I am the first to talk about how warm people can be in this cold place.  I know for sure that I will actually keep in touch with many of these people.  But more importantly my memories of people in Sweden are not the memories of meeting many in the hallway, or having one odd conversation....the memories have been created over several 'fikas paus' (coffee break/s), random meetings in corridors, home visits, walks, meals cooked and eaten together, phone calls, text messages and emails. 

When I first arrived here, I was a bit burnt from before and did not want to be close to the students.  I have always been close to my students but often times I realised that they took kindness for weakness.  So, I had stepped away.  But my first semester when I was teaching only masters classes, and my students were  from all over the world....about four different continents, I was surprised at their warmth.  The first semester I kept them at bay, still being very fearful.  By the beginning of the second semester they all had adopted me, I was invited to all their get togethers, they had surprise parties for me and would often bring a pizza to my house so we could all share.  The first two years were 'made heavenly' by these students.  While none of them was Swedish, I think it was Sweden's gentleness that allowed them to express their love as well, in combination with their own grand souls.  

Two days ago, two of my students came over for an evening coffee.  One swedish and one german.  The german girl, who is leaving the country, and has been at another university for the last semester, had written and said she wanted to connect before leaving.  But the best thing was that in the last year that I have known her, she has kept in touch via email and sometimes Facebook.  

I have always felt that it was the stories that we knew of each other that helped us know them more, slowly and over a period of time---it is the stories that bind us!!.  And I even read the same in a recent story in the New York Times.

So, in my department I know the stories of most of my colleagues, how they met their partners, their childhood stories, their love for pets, dislike of certain vegetables, hopes and desires for a different life.  

The top two pictures (with ICA sign and Lupins in the frame) were taken from a bench by the roadside, on my way home after grocery shopping, after 11 pm.  As I sat down to rest, because dragging my food trolley was really hard, a car stopped by, just to check on me, if I needed help.  I waved a signal that they needn't be concerned, I was just resting. They waved back and drove away.

And I sat there a little longer, just smiling, in the late evening light of Sweden, and feeling the warmth of human spirit, especially here in Sweden, even as the evening air had become a bit sharp.