Sweet Snow, Simple Sweden, New Beginnings

Regular Sweden!!

Still not enough time to write a decent post.  But I just wanted to share one thing.  This year, I have actually put something into practice that I had been saying for years. To stop being the only one to keep friendships and relationships alive.  I have let go of much clutter, and as a result, have some clarity. We cannot keep giving without being replenished.  And I have, for years, given out of my heart.  All was done to  create a community, it takes effort and time.

This past year, with much deliberation, I chose me.  I started the process about three to four years ago.  Now, I hurt much less, when I let go of people who were dear to me.  

As a result, work gets better.  Time extends, and I can reflect.  

Now, if only I could learn not to regret the time I put in people, who did not understand that it was a 'give and take'.  

They did not realize that I gave them continuity, or that I was showing my affection by putting in the time in them, to make them feel special.  Yes, it filled a need in me.  The need to love.  So, from that aspect, it was selfish.  But, it would have become a 'flow' if there were some balance.

Continuity is very important for how we see ourselves.  In our consumption oriented world, where we experience even the close relationships through taking in bits of information, often in images and short quotes on Facebook and twitter, it is that continuity of having the same people around which brings sanity.  An recent article talks about our disconnectedness and as spiritual crisis. 

I have felt that for as long as I have been away from home.  A recent event made me realise that I have been cut off from life, from birthdays and funerals and weddings, and parties and get togethers where the same people gather over and over again to celebrate life.

This, even when I cannot count the number of meals I have cooked, the amount of handmade cards I have made, and the amount of letters and phone calls, the birthdays and anniversaries I have remembered--and yet....

But, no more, no more sadness. I have to claim my own life and recognise its richness and hollowness at the same time.

From that recognition, from that pain --I hope to rise, like a Phoenix, bright and new, and shiny like the new dawn!  Especially like the one in Scandinavia!!

Good Morning Light!!

Light, my light, the world-filling light,
the eye-kissing light,
heart-sweetening light!

Ah, the light dances, my darling, at the centre of my life 
the light strikes, my darling, the chords of my love;
the sky opens, the wind runs wild, laughter passes over the earth.

The butterflies spread their sails on the sea of light.
Lilies and jasmines surge up on the crest of the waves of light.

The light is shattered into gold on every cloud, my darling,
and it scatters gems in profusion.

Mirth spreads from leaf to leaf, my darling,
and gladness without measure.
The heaven's river has drowned its banks
and the flood of joy is abroad. 

Rabindranath Tagore

See It Anew

Thailand, 2011

Dear Readers: As few as you all are in numbers (yup, very aware :)---I apologise for this long silence. Returning after sick leave has not been all that easy. But in the last year, my writing has taken off and I have worked quite intensely.  More on that later. Previously I used to write a special note on the 'new year'--and a few other days, both here and in my hand-written journal.  Due to time, have not been able to do it. And since we are already three weeks into the year, I thought 'let it go'.  Yet, there is something about beginnings, something about newness, that we must be alight in our hearts---or else we miss the sparkle of days and magic of the nights!! So, here is a poem by my favourite author, that I think so fits, And suggests that, as we 'somewhat' cynical people look at another year--that may be, we should think of this year as filled with possibilities beyond our imagination, with a hope that our hearts will overflow with joy, and that all those who come into our vicinity will be left enchanted with a desire to live a thousand years!! 

Do not say, 'It is morning,' and dismiss it 

with a name of Yesterday,

See it for the first time as newborn child

that has no name--

Rabindranath Tagore.