Trauma, Transition, Truth, Trust

From front of the house right in front of mine.  They live opposite to me and their house always has these lovely things outside. I used to do it too, but I am usually away in the summers. I put this image here as a sign of hope.  Although summers are usually bright.  This one here is representative of warmth and color as well.  Swedish summers are nice, but not always warm. Although we have had some good days lately. Its not summer yet. We have to wait till June. Its been rainy lately. 

To all the readers. I have not been writing.  I will get back to it. As always I have several unfinished posts.

But the last 10 months or so have been really hard. You know, I will not spell out things or write.  Mostly, it has to do with me and my state of my and my position in life. 

I had a short set back recently.  So much has come up to think about again.

I am trying to tell myself that all will be well.  

I have had a hard time matching my mind, my heart and my skills. Gave up my interest in food science and child psychology, or even nutrition ---which is what I studied in undergrad.  I had admission in a dietetics program. But I chose education, thinking I will study for IAS, Indian administration exams.  I left the country before I was even eligible to apply.

My interest in media was more creative than academic.  Still working it all out.

But on personal level I have realised that people do not focus on personal relationships as much as i have (it is the social media age after all).

I have spent much time and energy on personal relationships. And while I have some really good friends and people in my life, there is also a hollowness.  I have kept in touch with people via emails and phone calls and gifts and letters and cards and Skype calls. All of which I am now letting go.  It does not add to any depth or security, I have realized. 

I won't deny I do have good people and those who have stuck say that I have contributed positively to their life. 

Movement leaves a restlessness in us.

So, to all the readers, if you have enjoyed some work here, if you like to come here to read and want to send me a blessing and good vibes. I can use it.

Its a bit of a trying time, emotionally. Trying to ask myself, again, who am I, where do I belong, and what can I do to get to understand that.

Think of me as I listen to Nat King Cole, and relearn the lyrics to his song. Here is another version of the song by Natalie Cole

For all those who want to leave comments, please do so, just remember not to put my name.

I remain though, as usual, an accidentally seasoned hobo!!