I was there for a conference. I remember this picture because a stranger who I talked to for an hour took it. I remember it because I had lied and made up a few things about myself while talking to him. The thing is when you travel as much as I have, people cannot locate you, and they cannot exactly place you. For a long time, I did not know this. But I learnt it over the years. When I was called, a Mexican, a Spanish, a Siberian, a Chinese, a Nepali, an Italian, an Australian (often in Fiji) and the best 'a half-breed'. So much so that an Indian woman in Fiji, my first semester there, after asking me a few times where I was from, and me explaining that I grew up in India--finally asked me, "No, so what race are you?'.
Race is an interesting concept. I had none, until I left India. We do not talk in terms of race. Indian is not a race. Its a culture. A civilisation. But no race. Why? Its one of the oldest surviving civilisations and also has experienced much more mixing of people than possibly anywhere else in the world (a geneticist who studies this told me). So even in a country like the US and definitely in Europe, people of Euro origin have intermixed more among themselves than other races, and the same goes for other races there--afro origin, asian, etc. It might be changing slightly, but will take a long time to arrive at what is a country like India. We have 'everything'. People who look white and those who look oriental and those who look african and oh yes middle eastern with that peculiar nose.
For those who are interested in learning more can read in this new study (Craniofacial reconstruction of the Indus Valley Civilization individuals found at 4500-year-old Rakhigarhi cemetery)to see what Indians 1000s of years ago looked like. You cannot really place them in any part of the world. They seem to have all kinds of features.
So I have no race.
We have intermingled for 1000s of years. But it was in the US where this question became so very important. Now after applying for jobs and grants around them world I have realised how important that question is mainly in the predominantly 'white nations'. The questions on gets asked are obviously --gender (and presently they add questions on in-between genders, including non-binary), race, religion, disability etc.
Race--religion--why is that important? At least when I was growing up, we were never asked that in India. May be our names told it all. I will not be surprised if they start asking those questions, what with missionaries converting like crazy and people keeping their old names to get some benefits. They can get benefits as christians as minorities and with their names they claim benefits of the backward classes. It also allows them easy blending in a Hindu majority country. Its cheating but many do it. So may be now in India too we will start asking about religion on the questionnaires.
But race? We are all one race. Even those with different skin colors. In one family we can have different colors. Interesting how in countries like Fiji and Botswana they almost called me white, where as most of my 'white' friends, especially the ones in north America always mentioned 'how dark I was'. Reminds me how Gandhi's son talked about being beaten up by blacks in South Africa for not being black enough and by whites for not being white. :)
Lisbon, Porgutal,
So, in Lisbon, after the conference was over, I had about 20 hrs left and I decided to see the city. Met this guy from Greece, who tried to guess where I was from and failed miserably. I do not remember what I told him. I definitely am honest about being an Indian --but other things I let slide to give me privacy and a sense of security. Those things include talking about length of my marriage and the number of my children. I am not alone in this. In my travels I have met many women, mostly white and asian, who talk about wearing a wedding ring to create a ring of security around them when travelling. Women have shared with me how they usually talk about their husband coming to visit in a day or so. 'We are travelling and will meet in the capital city in two days. We wanted to see different cities', they tell fellow male travellers. In this case I spun stories as well. It was fun and made me feel safe.
Another experience when you are travelling happens when you are having a decent chat with someone and the guy usually says, 'Can I buy you a drink?'. I want to shake my head hard and say emphatically, 'No, absolutely not' who do you think I am?' But I usually make up stuff like, I have a bus to Portugal in 20 minutes, or I am leaving town tonight. I detest this way of buying someone's time. Coming from where I come from, girls from good families would never ever do this. And what strange way of buying someone's time. We buy drinks and meals for our friends all the time, but we have known them a long time and that act is not 'buying' but a contribution towards an ongoing relationship. Has meaning.
A male friend said he never lied when he was travelling. 'Ah, the male privilege!!' I am not a gender-studies person, nor do I believe in this crazy 'female independence' (another post is required on it--I believe in interdependence of the genders, males and females need each other). But I do believe in biological advantage. Well, one does not have to believe in it, it is.
It just is.
It just is.
A woman has years of fertility, men usually don't. Women are more vulnerable during travel, men are not. Not as much. Men have more physical strength, women do not. Physically, women are weaker. Here is women's advantage: they get pregnant and they can choose not to share it with the man. Walk away, abort the child without his permission or never tell him. Ofcourse paternity tests today can help, but what if she aborts without the man knowing. That is biological advantage. And as a researcher let me add 'Given all things constant' meaning exceptions exist and somethings can be altered--but there is such a thing as nature and our societies understood that. And therefore most cultures placed importance on women taking care of themselves. Not provoking men or placing themselves in dangerous situations. A friend and I debated recently over this (a real good friend)--that women should not be blamed for dressing the way they do, or putting themselves in harm's way if something bad happens to them. My answer is what my older cousin shared with me. When you know that you have splinters and glass spread all over the road outside of your house, it is stupid to want to put responsibility on the street cleaners and blame them if everything is not clean. And one cannot wait to leave the house. Instead, the wise thing to do is to wear shoes. Secure your feet. And then help the cleaners clean, work with the community on weekends to clean it. But keep wearing your shoes until yo know its completely safe!!
Today in this female independence environment women are told that the problem is always 'on the outside. and that we can and must teach men to be different/better. Absolutely we can!
Today in this female independence environment women are told that the problem is always 'on the outside. and that we can and must teach men to be different/better. Absolutely we can!
But we ALWAYS have. That is why there was always a difference between men who were raised well and those who were not. In India joint families were great for that reason. Men grew up with aunties and sisters and cousins and had to learn how to behave with women. Sure there are some men who are not that good or caring. But this image of men as animals especially in non-western cultures is definitely media generated. I can say this from my experience. But we should never forget--never forget there is such a thing as biology and nature. When we ignore that we create a schizophrenic society, as I see much in the west --with non western societies hopelessly following suit. Without any thought. So in our present day societies women have become like men, taking all responsibility and doing much more. Men on the other hand have not learnt to be like women. They cannot. And may be that also keeps a bit of sanity to this world (a detailed post on that will come later).
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| Nottingham, January, 2011 |
Nottingham, January, 2011
So yes, I have no race--I am just a human being and often not even focussed on being a woman, but I have a heart and I speak the language of children....good enough?
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