In Search of a Home

Welcome!! Swagat, Dumela, Valkommen, Jee Aayan Noo, Tashreef, Bula, Swasdee, Bienvenido, Tashi Delek. Thanks for joining me......


Tuesday, December 31, 2019

New Image, New Visions and New Hopes: Gott Nytt År!





This is an old pic, but my favourite. Taken sometime after Christmas in the neighbourhood during the day.  Lights work differently in the light and in the dark.  You know our light is quite dark in winters. And so these lights are a sign of hope 




Lamps from the temple in an aarti thali!! Hindu ritual that removes darkness!  


And believe it or not this is India!! Temple on highest of mountains in the snow! 



Wishing you all a very happy new year. 


Although-- I have started to question this new year now.  Mainly because it is a western creation.  New year used to coincide with planetary movement.  But with the spread of Christianity they started to alter days of celebration. I do not know all thee details but here is a lecture Tales of Two Calendars, that can highlight much.  Great lecture by a mathematician who talks about dating systems, calendars and of course mathematics.

This one day and the whole world gets excited.  If anything, it can be symbolic. Meaning a sense of hope that things will change.  As we get older, we get cynical sometimes.  And think nothing changes.  

But these symbols of change are required and needed. 

My issue comes with this imperialistic idea of thinking there is only one new year.  Or the way Gregorian calendar is, is the only way the world should work.

Living in Sweden, I see the point. Absolutely! Living in Pennsylvania, I saw the point!

I did not see it in Fiji or in Botswana where we moved from summer to winter in January.  

Even Delhi felt fine, since January was one of the coldest month.  But it won't be in the South of India.

Then, I tell myself, why can't you be just happy and not cynical.  

Well, in that happiness without thinking lies the core of the problems today.  The resurgence movements around the world are simply for identity rather than being all the same blob.  As I see more and more women in India dress western, even though the climate does not fit it, and the same in Fiji and several countries in Africa, there is a sadness about it.

Fitted clothes are mostly for cold countries to keep the heat in.  IN warm countries they are just 'imitations' which make no sense.

I wonder how many in the world know about Nowruz, which is Persian new year? or Baisakhi, which is punjabi new year, or MakarSankranti, which comes on January 14, and is celebrated as New Year in many communities in India.  Now all these festivals I mentioned are actually associated with planetary, seasonal changes.  

Nowruz, meaning new day comes 20th of March, when the spring solstice happens, day light saving is marked and the days start to officially get longer. Hence, New Day.  Baiskahi on April 13, is a harvest festival, hence a new year for farmers, since the crops are ready to be sold in the market.  The festival is celebrated with fairs and folk dances and family gatherings. Makar Sankranti, is actually sun's movement into Makar (Capicorn)--and is celebrated as  the beginning of end of Winter.  In Sweden it is celebrated as Tjugondag Knut (will post a previous post soon to mark this one)--meaning 20 days after Christmas, when all the trees are shaken, candies dropped and shared with kids and trees taken to the grinder. Or chopped for firewood.

What is this new year? A made up day to fit Gregorian calendar, which makes little sense in many countries.  I mean in the southern hemisphere they are moving into winter, it feels more like death rather than any new life. Their new year should be in June!!

So, this new year, hope and pray that you all look back into your own traditions.  Create some of your own, but ask yourselves, where do you come from? Who were your ancestors, even if they converted to two major religions that came from the desert. There is power in connecting with our ancestors.  We get a different marker to identity ourselves and we are not competing in a world that does not see us.

One of the things that helped me was that I was raised in India. I never had to be anything else.  I held India close to my heart and have continued to wear Indian outfits even in cold countries.  People asked me in the US, if being a 'woman and an Indian' made me feel like a second class citizen.

Well, I am not a citizen, I would answer.  And being a woman and Indian is not something I can change.  So I carry it proudly.  In my mind, I was the norm. But many ethnic children being raised in the US dealt with self-imposed racism.  I should look like this, this is the kind of outfits I should wear to fit in etc.  

In Sweden New year is wished as "Gott Nytt År!' which can also mean 'delicious, tasty or palatable'. 

Despite this heavy post, I wish you all a connection with the self, a connection with your ancestors and here is a video from one of my favourite Swedish Vloggers about her connection with new year.

Wishing you all the best.  And thanks so much for reading!! 






Friday, December 27, 2019

Pictures from The Season of Light in the time of Darkness and Cold

First published on December 9, 2017, this one is reposted again to share some pictures of the Christmas time glow!!  I have seen this so for so many years and yet, I do not tire of it.  Long white roads where snow has pressed into ever crevice such that it seems like there are only white roads, trees that are covered in blobs of snow and look like cotton trees, or the single yellow light from every tree--very mono-chrome compared to the multi coloured lights in the US--this simplicity speaks of the fact that 'Jul' which is a pre-chrisitan word, has always been part of Sweden. Sweden celebrated Jul before it celebrated the birth of Jesus.  It celebrated light, before its pagan ways were forced out by Christianly.  But it has retained many of its ways, in language and in traditions, and its been a delight to participate in those. 

Here is the old blog



Despite the fact that I question many things about Christmas,   I understand the reason for light during this time of the year in Scandinavia.

God Jul, usually translated as Merry Christmas, actually, as my Swedish teachers have told me, predates Christmas.  No one quite knows what Jul stands for, although today it is associated with Christmas.  It might have been associated with the height of cold season when everyone used candles and lights to bring happiness and joy.

 here are a few pictures.  Please note how lights on trees and from the buildings are brighter than the sky, while the pictures were taken around 3-4 pm in the day.

There is a magical beautiful quality of this time of the year.




This is how the streets are!


This  is how the campus becomes...




Efforts taken to put Christmas trees around the campus at various places. 




Friday, December 20, 2019

Pictures from Christmas Past: 2010

Last published on Dec 21, 2017, this is originally from 2010 (although published in 2011).  This was my first Christmas in Sweden.  What I cannot ignore in this post are the wo young  women, whose voice you hear...were my first students in Sweden.  Nearly a decade later, they remain in my life and have made me a better person just by their presence, they each deserve a separate post.

Always, always know that time, means much.  Spending time on people means they matter.  It means we are willing to invest in them.  

I clearly remember my first semester when these girls had never been to my house but knew where I lived, stood around the area and yelled my name.  I hurriedly opened the door.  They had a huge pizza in their hand. I made tea and we chatted for long.

The conversations continue to this day...

Here is to this magical time, which is more magical in darker countries, and a reminder that we become our best selves through the people we know!!

No woman is an island!!

Merry Holidays!!


________________________



First published on 11-29-11--November 11, 2011, its time to repost this fun post from X-mas time.  The pictures and video is actually from 2010, a Christmas I spent in Sweden.  My first, with two of the people, who became and important part of my life.  It was a dark Christmas and I was so unsure of having moved here, just like I was four years before of having moved to Fiji.  But despite everything, I have stuck around, even though I still fancy leaving.  I have formed somewhat of a community.  I spoke with Bengt today, another person I met on my first visit to this country, even before I moved here.  

It is the season, it is the time.  But to see how many winters I have spent here, is a miracle in itself. Much has been accomplished, even though I am fond of putting myself down.  Much still needs to be accomplished.  My place looks like a home. I have four invitations for JulAfton, Christmas eve celebrations, which is the main day people celebrate here. 

My teaching is non-stop.  Still teaching new courses.  But publications are plenty.  And yet, a nagging sense of not-belonging.  Which may never leave me now.  

Yet, as the year turns....I want to share something I found else where on the net.

Felicitations on the Astronomical Uttarāyaṇa उत्तरायण that begins today, on the Winter Solstice. (The astrological U. begins on Makara Sankranti मकर सङ्क्रान्ति, a few weeks later.) Today is when the Sun begins its northern movement that will last until the Summer Solstice. This is how people in India celebrated new year, with an understanding of what it is, not just a new year, but an upward movement of the Sun. January 14, (will write about it more later.) is when we celebrate the beginning of the end of winter. And folks in Sweden have a holiday too (more on that later).

For now, enjoy the photographs, and songs and drunken tourists and the warmth (whether or temperature or the heart) of the season, whereever you all are.....


Following pictures and videos were taken last year around Christmas time




Christmas tree on campus, in its winter glory. 2010


Pictures in downtown Karlstad.  2010



Houses in the neighborhood in different light...with flash..


without flash

And there are some christmas lights

Only in Sweden can you see these while (plastic) trees....an attempt to replicate pine trees naturally covered with snow




Christmas Market in Town



Home Made Wreaths and other decorations




Pine Wreath, with a tomte (a troll-like santa claus)
Lichen Wreath



Me thinks this is a reindeer or some sort of a lapland animal...






Now these are popular. Handmade Reindeers. Come Christmas time they are everywhere




Red local buses...this could be State College (CATA buses) or London for that matter...


The following pictures and videos were taken in Stockholm, 2010





Tables set up to help the homeless, who are very few in number.  So anyone is welcome really.  The women are passing out Glogg, a swedish christmas drink and canned food. 



Stockholm, near the central train station. 




The boat hostel...











The two men were slightly drunk.  But continued singing their Christmas songs.  They told us they were from Poland. There is a video of them later on in this post.  Although you get to see nothing because of perpetual movement.  The sounds alone give an idea of how much we were having. 



Dinner with friends: When I first published it, I did not mention the two young women who brought me to spend Xmas with them.  Dragged me from boat house and made me feel a part of their lives.  J and L.  They have been a consistent part in my life. I am often mocked that my friends are all ages, especially very young. But I also have friends who are my parents age and older.  Age is never a matter when hearts meet.  But especially when we can have meaningful conversations.  And evolve as human beings.  These two girls have done that for me. They adopted me when I came here and they still brighten my life, even though we have not seen each other in over 8 years!!  This is to heart to heart friendship J and L.  We are not connected on Facebook and hardly use what's app.  But we have used Skype and real phone calls and letters and notes and of course the old fashioned email to remind each other---what it means to be a friend!! (added--2019). 



I spotted this group at the train station singing Christmas carols in Swedish.  It was a delight. I hope they bring you the same peace they brought me as I pointed my camera at them. 




The Polish guys in Christmas spirit.


The following two videos are nothing extraordinary. I have seen this set up in several countries.  Yet whenever I see it, it brings me to a dreamy mood...relaxes me and so...like sunsets and sunrises, no matter how many of them I have seen, I take my camera out...to honor the scene.  Same here.  I hope you enjoy it too.   Merry and Bright Christmas



















Friday, November 29, 2019

Red, Yellow and Orange!!

Wow, this was first published on October 16 of 2010--things and experiences seem so close sometimes I have to remind myself how long I have been writing this...I had returned to the US possibly after six months or possibly after a year---there was a conference in Texas.  I had gone from Texas to Oregon to pick up some old things from a friend's place and then to Boston for a quick stop ---then flew out.  All those places I had some work to do--conference, pending business and meeting a friend.  That was my first year in Sweden and I was in transition.  

I am always in transition.  But some years are heavier than others.  There is a whole book about that year--that needs to get written....:)

Posting this next to the last week's post about color.  I had seen pictures of autumn in Kashmir and of-course in brochures for colleges in the US.  But my first sight of it in the US, years and years ago made me feel like I was in a dream.  

Pennsylvania autumn is the most stunning.  Because unlike Sweden it is actually warm.  You get sunny days.  Sun shinning through these colors is something else.  A true time for reflection.  It blends so well with halloween and pumpkin and apple crumble and cider.  These are some of my favourite things....:) 🎵🎵

Btw, people go for special drives just to see 'Fall Colours'.  And these were taken when my friend took me for long drives through outskirts of Boston and one was taken in Oregon (Oregon colors are not as stark because of geography, but autumn definitely  makes its mark there as well!!

Hope you enjoy the pictures!






Autumn colors are the best in New England!! When you are there, in the midst of Red, Yellow and Orange, you cannot believe it is all real. The colors radiate such warmth that you are pulled into them. Often times I have imagined wearing those colors, in silk and chiffon. Nature has the best taste in color palette !! Boston, October, 2010.


For years in Pennsylvania, this was my favorite sight. While the leaves were gone from the trees they still rest a while on the streets, before being dutifully raked away. I made sure at least a few times before they were swept away, I would push them together neatly, with my feet into a pile and revel in kicking them as I walked. All the time looking around because the sweepers would detest me for creating more work for them. The other thing to do is to pick up these leaves in your hands and stare into the mild autumn sun and just throw them into the air and then duck .....as them come wafting down..... Boston, October, 2010.

Autumn in Portland. Thought the colors are the best on the east coast, you can see the range of shades all the way to Oregon. It is a treat to drive through these these streets that are lined by trees that convert to being multi'color', every autumn!!

This is what I call a Half Autumn tree. In the middle of autumn you can spot these trees that are half way in the spirit of autumn. The leaves are still alive, there are a few branches, bare and proud, and then this pile of color that covers the ground, almost a ray of hope--that is is not over yet...







Branches flowing out of this tree were covered with rich yellow. I noticed their color next to the 'green trees'. It seemed that these trees were never green. Such is the illusion of perception....what we see, we think has always been that way.....

Friday, November 22, 2019

How Mother Nature Compensates



Been reposting for a few weeks. Am travelling often, for a class, trying to take care of some pending things.  So in between towns. And hardly have the time to write.  Also, some of those old posts are really relevant.

I have several posts in mind.  But might have to do with some re-postings until mid-december.  The thing is that I have been writing, publishing--both academic and non academic and have done some creative writing.  But the best part is that i am working heavily with my youtube channel. I get no money for these things, including the creative writing, but they are such a joy.  May be some day I will have a side income but I do it because it calls me. 

Have been going through some internal churning.  And have had posts about that in mind. They will follow.

Academic publications are doing well.  I got about 4 this year. Btw, it takes about 2-3 years to get one out.  So you can imagine the huge sigh that I let out when that happened.  Non academic--four publications so far---and about 25 new blog posts--or more may be.

About 4 short new videos and working on a longer one.

I never thought of myself as a writer. But when I look back, I write ALL the time. And have written ever since i can remember. 

Journals, gratitude journals, letters, poems, stories, speeches, scripts for videos and plays and what not...

Only recently have I realised how integral writing has been to my life. Look at this blog--I have had it for exactly 10 years.  Zero money. I do not even publicise it.

I look at the picture above --and see how mother nature compensates.  

Loosing light is not that pleasant and so mother nature fills our days with color.  Much of green turns into yellow, red and orange.  

So mother nature compensates in so many in our real lives as it does in nature. 

How does mother nature compensate when so much is going on, and in many ways life is not complete and questions of life keep knocking at us?

Well, little things.  Little things that fall into place.  And some joys that we never get paid for but those that bring us satisfaction.

Writing, teaching, drawing, painting, making short films are some such things for me. I get little money back, but I get to write, document and then sometimes share.

The satisfaction of creation. 

And keeping us connected to wonder---autumn for me is that--reflecting and being grateful!!  Light keeps reducing --now it gets dark around 3:30 pm or 4:00 pm depending on which city I am. I must have four layers.  But it is the need for warmth that keeps us indoors and its mother nature's way of forcing us to reflect.  Then snow descends on us --bringing us white, to replace the light!!  Thankyou mother nature, for taking care of us--

Thank you all for reading!!

Friday, November 15, 2019

Packing up summer paraphernalia

First published on 17th October 2010, my first year in Sweden--it is that time of the year.  Although summer things got packed about a month ago.  And now, be ready for some more pictures of autumn and soon winter!!

You know what this post reminds me of--how when I came here from Fiji, how excited I was about the change of seasons.  I was back in my Pennsylvania days, a place I loved so much. I am not really bored with yet, but very aware of how paralysed we are in winter with regards to movement and experiencing life.  So, hmmm, things to think about!!




October 1, 2010. Taking away planters that were brought out in spring. No more flowers. Not for a few months. You gotta miss Fiji now. What if we did not have flowers sometimes. We always had green. White and brown is what we count on this side of the world. For about 6 months :(( But believe me, in the middle of it, there are times, when you cannot but admire that as well....

Turkish Men sit for a chat outside the local grocery shop. A weekend ritual. Yes, I did ask for permission. And the middle one nodded politely and said, "As you wish".
I did wish to get the picture, and here it is....Notice the grandeur of latter years of life. Written all over their relaxed way of looking at the camera. No cares, all the difficult times of decision making and choices behind them. Makes you look forward to winter...of life...



Friday, November 8, 2019

Autumn Aura




First published on October 17, 2010.  Here it is as we end October and move into really cold November with sleet and snow.  Here is how warm looking it can be even in October!





Sada Mohalla (Punjabi). Vårt grannskap (Swedish). Nuestro barrio (Spanish). Our neighborhood. See those Orange leaves??
They indicate autumn. The stubborn green ones are still holding on. Normally, this street is filled with children running up and down. Playing hopskotch. In spring and summer, you will often find huge drawings on the street, with colored chalks. Since I know only a few words in Swedish, every time I see the kids I say, 'Hej, Hej', meaning hello. Hej Då (good bye). Vi sees! (see ya).





Notice the berries here. They are not edible, but they do have another purpose. Soon as the tree starts to shed, the remaining berries stand out. The number berries is an indicator of the strength of winter. The higher number of berries the colder the winter.
I still do not know the name of this tree. I have noticed that in many countries. I often ask what tree or flower is this. People just shrug. And then we worry about our environment. We need to be taught these things in schools. Although I am told that they have something of the sort in Sweden. Where school kids are taken in the woods and taught about plants, all the time learning to not be afraid of getting their hands dirty.



And so the leaves are quickly leaving us. Here a leaves-poor tree tries to smile back through a few colorful leaves. Every time I see leaves clinging to branches, fluttering in the wind, I think of 'The Last Leaf.', a story by O' Henry.


Now this is color. I have to say, that colors here are not as rich as that I have seen in Pennsylvania or Virginia or New York. May be its different outside of Karlstad it is different, but here the cold came in too quickly. So much so that the the trees you see in the following picture, taken barely a week ago, are already bald now :((



We are expecting snow this thursday!! Please visit us......:))